#and idk what 16 year olds nowadays know about DID

[lazaruspiss]

sibling is showing Symptoms so my mom wants me to come out to them w my own dissociative disorder hoohah in the hopes that it'll help them but im terrified of change actually ! what if i turned inside out instead

[shego1142]

Okay so… can someone explain doctors to me like I’m a very small very scared and very hurt child?

So like… I was 11 or 12 when my family lost what I would call our “good insurance” and we had to switch to the “doctors suddenly don’t care about you” insurance due to my dad becoming disabled and us no longer having a two person income household.

We switched from me seeing a group of caring children’s doctors to me seeing an adult’s general practitioner that only saw me about once a year or less, and largely dismissed every issue I had.

I began getting migraines at 10 that increased in frequency and severity and I was told it was ��because I’d start my period soon”

I had an eye test done that came back with concerning spots of missing vision in my peripheral when I was about 13 or so and I was entirely dismissed, but the doctor did ask me if I wanted to be institutionalised when I tried to quietly and privately ask about depression symptoms.

To which I began crying btw, you know, because I was a 13 year old undiagnosed autistic child.

I saw this group of doctors for things like school vaccinations, about once a year or less, ans largely I didn’t see them for anything else and I got used to hiding my symptoms and illnesses.

When I was 16 my stomach began hurting so bad in a radial pain, I went to them 3 times in the span of two weeks, telling them that I swore my stomach was hurting horribly, like real pain not just acid reflux. They prescribed omeprazole, an acid reflux medicine, and nothing else. They refused to order any tests.

I got to where I was in so much pain, crying and pulling my hair out, I felt like i couldn’t breathe and I woke my mom up and begged her to take me to the hospital because I thought I was dying at 16. And I probably would’ve, because my gallbladder would have ruptured. I ended up having to have emergency surgery, also I threw up on the hospital nurse and was so apologetic for being sick that she almost cried.

When I was 20 something I wanted to talk to those same doctors about my migraines, they’d gotten even worse than before and that is saying a lot. The same doctor who didn’t bother to check if I was having a medical emergency when my gallbladder was shutting down straight up just told me I was lying for medicine, without even looking at any of my tests prior, and yelled at me and tried to take my cane, which had become something I found really helped with all the pain I felt, away from me.

I didn’t even ask about a pain medication, I was asking about migraine preventatives.

I left that doctor’s office that I had gone to since I was 12 and never went back.

Anyway, nowadays, the closest doctor’s clinic keeps telling me that I can’t have a physical check up if there’s something specific I want the doctor to see me about?

And I have multiple chronic conditions, so there’s literally always something specific that needs to be addressed, but then it’s like they only want to focus on one thing, when it’s multiple issues that need attention?

Like… how tf do you find a doctor that can really help? How do you even start?

Also, the doctor’s office closest to me refuses to let anyone go with me, which is terrifying given that I’ve been yelled at by doctors for asking questions??

They basically always try to convince me that it’ll be just fine but then, due to my slow processing process speed because you know, autism, a day or two after the fact ill realise that them saying:

“Idk, you might have pcos, call us in four months!”

Is probably not the best way to talk to a patient…

I just… I don’t know what to do or how to get a good doctor, and I thought your general practitioner was the one who was supposed to have a general idea regarding everything that’s going on with your health, like you know, be informed of it, and then they would be able to recommend other doctors who can help you with the specific issues.

It seems to me that general practitioner means that you shouldn’t bring up anything worse than a cough or a sore throat or they get mad at you.

Idk… I just woke up today with a lot of pain and I think what is neuropathy (my arms keep going numb I’m assuming that’s what is causing it) and I just… wish I could find a doctor who actually understands what is happening and gives a damn…

I live in North Georgia, and I’m more than willing to travel… if anyone out there knows of a doctor or something… let me know

[forjongseong]

Nanaaa, hi!! I have a question bcs me and my friends just can't see eye to eye with this shit 🤷‍♀️ What's your opinion on minors writing smut? 👀 I've just come across a 16 year old writing the filthiest fic I've ever read in my entire life and idk it lowkey weirded me out but like most of my friends say that it's normal and they also wrote and read smuts when they were still minors. And like I do think that their point it quite valid but idk it just kinda made me feel icky yk 😭

watch me get cancelled by saying what I want to say HAHAHAHA

in my opinion it's wrong, because I did not even know what smut is when I was 16. I think I was busy with schoolwork and everything and figuring out the best major to take in college. I think I literally watched my first cheesy porn clip when I was 19 or something and I thought it was disgusting.

However! today's teens aren't like me (or us?) back then. they are living in a totally different world than us. they have access to the internet, social media, sources to get whatever type of porn they want (text, video, audio, you name it) and even KIDS nowadays know the concept of having crushes and dating so in terms of like romance/lust there is no stopping them I guess.

now writing and/or reading smut is also a case-by-case scenario. in general, I wouldn't mind a minor doing that as long as they keep it to themselves. don't go out here making a blog and posting your stories, or interacting with adult blogs even though a mdni warning is plastered on their pinned post. if it's for personal consumption, it is literally out of our hands, but when they become public about it is when it becomes a problem.

to sum up, your friend saying "it's normal" is not entirely wrong, but you feeling icky about it is also valid.

[unabellaguerra]

Ditto to all of that.

I come from a German-speaking middle & high school, and it's unavoidable that you get to read at least one thematically challenging and unsettling book from German literatureevery school year. From 10 to 18 years old, no exceptions.

What you see is a beautiful transformation from young kids declaring that a book shouldn't exist (after reading their first unsettling book) to older teenagers appreciating the writing style, author's intention, and themes throughout the years.

What I recall with the earlier books I read (I was around 13 when we first read unsettling books and at that age hated all of them xD): a novel about cyberbullying that depicts graphic SA, and another one on MC running away with his friend & trying to survive the real world (which includes the only main female character being sexualised by MC and sexualising herself). Speaking specifically about my class, we all hated them and we spent the next few lessons venting amongst ourselves and to our teacher.

Next up were 3-4 Holoucast novels in the next two years - some were fictitious, other were realistic like diaries or autobiographies. It was 50/50 - some we started enjoying and understanding the necessary brutal and unsettling scenes. With others we started criticising with how the Holocaust was treated (too romanticised, unnecessary violence, etc.) I.e. specks of literary critical thinking evolved.

(In those years, we read a romance novel of email exchanges leadong to the two people falling in love with each, which I absolutely hated and DNF'd, as iirc one of the MC's has a married spouse and I saw as cheating.)

Finally, with 16+ years, we students got introduced to the pillars of German literature. A novel about a 19th century family trying to live with their disabled adult son while being ostracised by society, Spring Awakening (the consequences of no sex-ed education discussed in early 19th century, which includes SA and abortion), Youth without God (a book criticising a fascist/authoritative government *wink wink the Nazis*, with emphasis on how it affects the youth), The Perfume (would you kill an innocent woman and make the best perfume out of her? Also cannibalism), another novel that alludes to the Third Reich with huge emphasis on Jewish persecution, etc. Oh and the Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka (when you wake as a "Ungeheuer" one morning) :p.

Around 80% of the class really enjoyed all these (disturbing) classics, with some even reading additional disturbing German books to really delve into the themes and author's intentions. Even with those who hated the classics, they now understood the necessity of why the novel was famous and were able to distinguish their personal opinions from literary critique. And imo, the transformation from "I hate it so it's objectively bad, burn it now!" to tipping toes into literary critique was mostly due to the school allowing/requiring us to read challenging books to challenge our moral understanding and in turn expanding our empathy.

Now, is this universal to every German-speaking class with German lit? Idk, maybe not. Were our German teachers perfect? Absolutely not. Imo, our middle school teacher failed to handle our "venting" situation when we mandatorily read these books. But our high school teacher was pretty god when we were teens starting literary critique. Was exposing such disturbing topics like SA cyberbullying to tweens as young as 10 *really* that necessary? Who knows. Nowadays, the German tactic of exposing horrifying images of the Holocaust during history with the mentality of "this is our fault. While we did not do, YOU alone are responsible that this never happens again." during history classes, with no warning, actually backfired. We have tons of Holocaust deniers thanks to that extreme tactic, and why countries such as Germany and Austria will always side with Isreal no matter what (the good and the horrible). So there's talk whether to change it, allow more trigger warnings and be more sensitive to tweens and teenagers. It's a whole different issue.

Tl,dr: Reading disturbing literature, especially as a school requirement, is a must and it comes with huge benefits and a few drawbacks.

I think some people forget that some literature and some media is meant to be deeply uncomfortable and unsettling. It's meant to make you have a very visceral reaction to it. If you genuinely can't handle these stories then you are under no obligation to consume them but acting as if they have no purpose or as if people don't have a right to tell these stories, stories that often relate to the darkest or most disturbing parts of life, then you should do some introspection.

[help-is-on-the-way]

Ive finally reread the Lemonade Mouth book and i have feelings. This may be long.

Ive watched the movie countless times since i was like 12, it has always been one of my favorite disney movies. I had their songs in my mp3 and at school i liked carrying my house keys around so i could pretend i was Wen in Turn Up The Music. Anyway. Ive always known it was a story adapted from a book. I remember buying it when i was like 16 after watching the movie for the bajillionth time. I never finished it. I remember the different POVs threw me off a bit and the language didnt make it any easier (english isnt my first language and the book has never been translated). My bookmarker said i made it to page 152. But i honestly did Not remember at all like 90% of the changes. So im like pretty sure i read it without Actually reading.

Anyway. Now im 24 and i rewatched the movie 3 nights in a row this week. And im way more well versed in english nowadays. So i decided to give the book another shot. Now, like i said, i have feelings. I read the whole thing in 2 nights. Im not sure what im doing right now and im sure im overexplaining things, as i usually do. But well. I think i wanna say some stuff.

First of all, after reading the book i can confidently say the movie is a pretty amazing adaptation. Ive always known that, but like, now i have undisputable proof. The way they made the story flow in just under 2 hours always baffled me. They got like 7 character stories going on and it never feels too much. And the changes from the book are mostly all understandable, and some of them i even like way better in the movie in my opinion. I mean. Except their appearances changes. I love Bridget Mendler as much as the next guy, but .. Fat Olivia wouldve been so cool to see. Especially considering the movie/book themes.

I remember whenever i rewatched the movie as a 18 year old and onwards, i always thought something along the lines of. Wow. For a movie all about revolution, and being a freak, and not conforming to the social mold, and being a minority - the lack of queer related stuff is so Loud. I guess it always disappointed me. Not that we are freaks, but well. Im sure we all felt it a some point. I remember being angry about it, then. But i get it. Of course i always did, in a way. It was 2011 and it was disney. And im not stupid either. Stella is a glaringly obvious lgbt subtext allegory - maybe its the Hayley Kyoko in her, but they all knew what they were doing, i think. I can see that. Its subtext. I just cant help it but feel a bit disappointed that it isnt text too. Dont get me wrong. Stella's character in the book manages to be even more marvellous than in the movie (an impressive feat). I was in shock that she was written explicitly and diagnosed with dyslexia and ADHD. Being a different but similar kind of neurodivergent myself, that was really cool and genuinely surprised me, as ive always related to the feeling dumb sentiments she has. But, you know. Still kinda made me sad. You could make the argument that she didnt need a romantic arc or whatever, cause she was going through a lot, blablabla. And, yeah. I agree with you. She was going through a lot. Thats kinda the point though. All five of them were. Its the whole point of their characters. Theyre all going through their stuff and they got school problems on top of it. Im not saying she needed a girlfriend of anything. She didnt, and her character is one of the most fleshed out ones.

Which then brings me to my next point. Honestly. I feel like the book had a lot more romance going on than the movie. In parts it was really sweet, and in others kind of annoying. The movie always made it very clear that Mo and Charlie wouldnt be a thing, and i come from that reality and mentality. So imagine my surprise when they are actually a thing by the end of the book. Idk. Ive always disliked Scott, and hated that he got in the band and played with them at the Madison Square Garden by the end. He never felt like one of the band, he never felt like a lemonade mouth. I dont think he ever really understood their struggles as freaks. At least not in my eyes. So he always felt a bit undeserving of his spot. He's there because of Mo, for Mo and Mo only. He's even more of an asshole in the book, so im glad hes not really brought up again after he tries to apologize and Mo says she isnt interested. I really like that this is what happens in the book. I might be too much of a Scott hater, but, yeah. I do like it. I dont think Mo shouldve gotten with Scott in the movie either. But i also dont think she shouldve gotten with Charlie, is the point. Sure, Charlie's character in the book actually puts in the effort to get to know Mo, he is sweet, he makes her feel listened to, and he tries to learn about her heritage and culture. He does not feel like hes in love with the idea of Mo (aside the first few POVs of him) (he quickly grows from that when they become proper friends). He loves her for her. And thats something i dont feel like it happens with movie-Charlie.

In fact, i feel like movie-Charlie is the most not-book character of them all. Hes got the most background change, and most of the time he isnt seem doing much (most of his scenes were passed on to Wen - going with Stella to ask about the lemonade machine, being the one that's approached by Lyle when he sells the Lemonade Mouth Live at the Bash CDs). When theyre deciding if they should become a band or not at the pizzaria, his coin flip in the book matters because thats heavily tied to his way of seeing the world and the universe. Tied to his belief that hes the wrong brother to have survived, so Aaron (heads) also deserves a chance to choose his actions for him, just as much as Charlie himself (tails) does. And thats explored time and time again over the pages. Its incredibly interesting and original. When they get rid of his dead twin brother, and build up a living-in-the-shadow-of-a-perfect-older-brother backstory for him, the coin flip just seems like hes an undecisive guy, who doesnt have a good reason to say No, but also not to say Yes either. And while thats fine, i guess... it just doesnt hold the same value narratively speaking. It just feels more shallow, like hes simply a more laid back guy. I do like movie-Charlie, but book-Charlie is way more interesting. His book appearance is more fitting too. Hes described as a regular chubby guy with unruly hair. I like that.

Anyway, back to the romance thing. Its fine i guess. Im mostly against Mo x Charlie in the book because it just kinda feels weird after watching the movie for 12 years. I liked the "friendzone" arc. Its nice when a boy and a girl can just be friends in media, no ulterior motives behind it (though that doesnt really happen either) (we see that more with Stella and the boys). Also because idk im not a huge fan of how Mo eventually came around and confessed to Charlie in the book. I know that theyre 14 but Charlie was still hurt by what she had said, and though she did apologize and admited that she screwed up, i feel like i wouldve liked it more if she explained to him what was going on through her head better. Like if she had explained to him what she had explained to the reader, it kinda wouldve made it a lot better for me. Cause Charlie said multiple times that he was confused by the whole thing, and hurt, but still they kissed twice. And that was it, they were dating now. But then again, if they were able to express themselves that well, they wouldnt be 14 year olds.

And then on the other side of the romantic things going on theres Wen and Olivia. Ive always liked them as a couple since i was a kid. And their moments in the book were pretty fucking good. I love the subtle ways in which Wen slowly begins to pay more attention to her, and notice how his feelings toward her change, even though he doesnt really understand what they are. I lost my mind when in the beginning he described her eyes as a simple brown, but the next time it happens he sees that it has hints of yellow as well. And their fight scene ?!?!??!! Bro !!! The peak-ism of it all..... the way Wen crosses the street without Olivia, and theyre shouting while on different sidewalks, with cars going between them, a clear and visual indication of this rift they suddenly found themselves in. Its so good. Hurts so well. And it gives more of a reason for Olivia to lose her voice as well, cause she had to yell over the noise and stuff. While in the movie she lost her voice over yelling two sentences while they were 2 meters away from each other, which always striked me as odd.

Speaking of which i feel like i have so much to say about Olivia, and at the same time so little. I honestly dont know which i prefer better, movie-Olivia or book-Olivia. From a poetic and creative standpoint, i really like that Olivia's POV throughout the book is told solely through her letters to her dad (+ naomi at the end). Its very charming. But at the same time it also kinda feels like it hurts her characterization a bit in places. She tells stuff through a letter format to her dad, so at times it feels like she is withholding stuff while at the same time saying Much More than a 14 year old would say to their dad. And, granted, that does say a lot about her as a character, but you know. The point of different POVs is to explore the characters more. But because shes stuck telling the events to her dad, if feels like shes only allowed to be his daughter - and it also feels forced at times when she tells stuff to him that i know just needs to be said for plot reasons. Which is a bit sad. I have the feeling that it is intentional, but idk. I feel like after 336 pages i still barely know her. We mostly get to know about her through other people - we basically only see Olivia-daughter and Olivia-quiet friend. I wanna see Olivia, dammit!!! It kinda sucks cause i love her. Shes the main singer, for goodness' sake !!!! And in the book nobody else sings besides her too.

This paragraph from one of Mo's POV kinda sums it all. Im stuck in a fence trying to understand if thats a good thing or not, when shes still a mystery even to the reader, only a 100 pages away from the end of the book. I want to know whats going on in her head so badly.

This kinda brings me to another point, slightly connected to the romance thing. The girls barely interact with each other. Of course we know they all become friends, and by the time the Halloween Bash is over and Nancy dies, Wen is already describing them all as a family in his POV. So we know they are all closer than they were. From this point on they always describe themselves as friends, when before there was always an uncertainty over their relationship. But like, getting to my original point. The girls' interaction is scarce. Mo and Stella have the fight scene in the beginning, when the band first tried to make things work and they butted heads. And then they get a descriptive scene of the two of them having fun while reading a magazine and coloring the pictures with a pen. After that, all of Mo's scenes are with Charlie, Naomi, or the other 4 as a band. At the end Wen mentions that Mo gives him the "shovel talk" so he doesnt hurt Olivia. But we never get to see Mo and Olivia properly interacting one on one. I guess its fine narratively speaking, but like. I wanna see, you know. Olivia's scenes are even worse, theyre all either with Wen or the whole band. Olivia has more scenes with Sydney than with the other girls in her band. And its not just the girls, Wen and Charlie also never interact with each other. I feel like the focus in romance is greatly to blame for this. The movie lacks on this too, dont get me wrong. But its easier to convey their closeness with each other when there's a visual representation of them happening in front of my eyes and i can See them all interacting between them without dialogue. Like Wen and Charlie singing the jingle of Rising Star together when they were in detention, or later on the two of them walking around school. Or Mo hugging Olivia and standing close to her after Nancy died and More Than a Band happens. The whole More Than a Band scene actually, cause it kinda becomes a "silent" montage of them having fun together. Or having Wen with Stella when she realizes the actions of her consequences and suddenly the whole school knows shes the one responsible for cutting Mudslide Crush's set for the Bash in half. You know what i mean ?? As a big fan of found family i just kinda wish there was more of the rest of the relationships between the 5 of them. And in the book thats especially jarring. Which kinda goes back into the thing i said about Olivia's POV.

She wont write about these details to her dad. The only time she wrote in detail about a conversation was when she fought with Wen. So we're kinda missing out on a POV that Could help bridge the band together in a way for the reader to see more clearly. Cause its obvious they love each other and theyre family, but we dont get to see much How exactly that happens. The cloud watching scene is like the main bonding moment in between the group and practically the only one we get to participate in. And it's not from Olivia's POV, it never is. Her cat died and we're told what happens through Wen's eyes. She has a "nervous attack" before the Halloween Bash to the point of puking and we're told what happens through Random Girl #6 That Just So Happens to Be Hiding at The Next Stall Over. She takes the band to see her dad in prison (a pretty big deal to everyone envolved) and, again, we're told through Wen's eyes.

In the movie, Olivia's mom died when she was really young (young enough to not remember her face), and her dad "made bad decisions because of it". The way she talks about it makes it seem that immediately after her mom died, her father got into trouble with the law. So like her dad has been gone idk 12 years or something. She doesn't know him, doesn't know her mom. We're never told what exactly he did, and i kinda always got the impression that it was something bad, something that Olivia kinda resented him by, at least a little bit. I know she simply stated that she never wrote him back cause she didnt know what to say to him, cause he was basically a stranger to her. But you know. I feel thats enough to resent somebody, cause maybe she doesnt even know what he did either. If something like this happened in my family, i probably wouldnt know either. Not until i was like 22 and my aunt spilled the story while drunk during Christmas. Its not the type of thing you tell a child - it's the type of thing the child quietly accepts as just a part of their normal. So, at the end, she decides to give him a chance by writing a letter to him. I quite like that cause she was kinda doing the same thing she fought Wen for. He never gave Sydney a chance, and she had never given her father a chance either.

Book-Olivia, on the other hand. Her mother didn't die, she simply left. Olivia also does not remember her face. Her mom and dad had a teen pregnancy, the mom had drug problems and the dad already had minor criminal records. Mom left when she was 1. And her dad was a good father to her until she was 8. And she remembers that he was a good father. He had dreams of being an english teacher. And then he got fired from his taxi driving job, couldnt get another because of his past felonies, fell into old habits, and accidentally caused an old man to have a heart attack while attempting robbery. So he's in jail. And Olivia knows this stuff because she remembers. She was old enough to ask questions, to demand answers when her loving father suddenly wasn't coming home anymore. So she writes letters to him all the time, she keeps him updated on her life cause she knows he would like to be present, but can't. She also knows he made mistakes, and isnt looking for excuses for him. But he's a good father too.

Theyre similar backstories but also so different. Theres things i like about both. The Sydney-dad parallels in the movie are pretty good. The book's scene of the band visiting dad in prison is fantastic. I feel like the movie did a good job translating the book and adaptating Olivia's backstory. I quite like that the whole movie is Olivia's letter to her dad, telling him about her band. It's a pretty good way to tie her to her POVs from the book. I dont remember where i was going with this, honestly. I like Olivia.

Mo's story is also pretty good in both. I feel like the only significant difference between book-Mo and movie-Mo is that Naomi's whole character is gone. So is her family owned store and the obvious religious references amd practices, and Mo is seen doing less extracurriculars. So the illness she contracts before Rising Star in the movie feels less like a burn out and more like a really unfortunate coincidence. I understand why they cut Naomi out, but the fact that Mo had a pretty good friend before the band makes so much sense. She doesnt really struggle socially, its more that she has a family influenced plan for her future, and doesnt have time for other stuff.

[rrxnjun]

oh my god thanku really love the date cuz its a national holiday here so every year i'm getting fireworks🤭🩷💗also can i ask when is ur birthday or is that top secret information?👀

oo i'm really glad u were able to keep the idea🥳🥳(but really cuz other wise i might have not found ur page and that is just heartbreaking when i think about it💔)

tbh i'm down if u end up coming just tell me cuz i'm 80% sure i will go🫡 i don't understand why they are not going to vienna like i remember it being so popular for concerts cuz i was so salty about the fact that it's just the neighboring country and they couldn't have come a little bit closer🤣 AHH MAN NOOO THATS SO SAD☹️☹️☹️I HOPE U WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THEM ONE DAY!!!!☹️

U ARE JUST AMAZING FOR THAT!! best tendencies 🤣 yeah i was very shocked as well but i didn't get edits about it luckily cuz i think that would have made me so much more sad🫡 I UNDERSTAND THAT SO MUCH I WAS THE SAME FOR AGOOD WHILE MANS WAS ON MY MIND 24/7 (and still he is very much there although not as much as he used to:/)🤭 IDK I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THERE ARE BASICALLY NO TREASURE WRITERS HERE??? but i really think u would be an exceptional writer for them👀sooo i'm waiting for a treasure fic if u don't fall out of them ofc (although that is kinda hard to imo) ooo u know i think just a drabble couldn't hurt anyoneeee🤗 THEN IM WAITING FOR UR FIC EVEN MORE🥳

HOOE UR DOING WELL AS WELL!!! and i'm not too sweet u are too sweet!!!!!🩷💘💘 (and sorry again for the very late reply school sucks☹️)

(and i also wanted to ask that should i send u asks on ur other acc if i see something that i would bring up here just so i don't pollute this page anymore than i already did🤣like i just keep bringing up random topics here so sorry)

(liebestraum anon🌷💕💞)

omg thats so cool???? fireworks on your bday every year must be so amazing woah,,,, my bday is not a top secret dw 😌😌 its quite literally in 2 days (apr 16) lmao i feel very old and i also forgot its my bday this sunday so when my mum mentioned it i was like what already???

hhhh i am too!! i am currently actively writing it just so you know<33 if school doesnt kick my ass as hard (which it might bc i have my first final in 10 days LMAO) i think it should be done before summer AHAHA

have fun if you end up going!!! i had a talk w everyrone and came to the conclusion that i just cant go this year so thats :// maybe next year.... manifesting vienna fr that way i could be home the same day if i tried hard enough. VIENNA USED TO BE SO POPULAR W CONCERTS i swear every pop punk band and their mothers back in the day had a concert there. what happened im gen so confused i keep searching for it on every tour but nowadays no one goes there

you know the song TV by billie eilish??? thOSE edits make me so heartbroken. like 'dont know where you are right now, did you see me on TV?' bitch stop puting mashidam onto those lyrics i will have a full on meltdown. but anyways my man jihoon is still on my mind 24/7 and its gotten even worse man i need serious help i think. somebody call an exorcist. and stop supporting that drabble i will nOT write it (i am trying really hard to contain myself rn)

school sucks and it should be cancelled. >:(( i hope youre doing well i enjoyed hearing from you,, hope life treats you good in the next couple of days!!! mwah

also you can send asks whenever you want!! honestly this is my space and i dont mind clogging the dash djfkdlj if anyone minds these they can just block the tag, they curate their own tumblr experience :p but if you ever wanna send anything to mosviqu or my other blogs i honestly welcome you everywhere!!!

[youryanderedaddy]

Imagine a yandere ghost who is cursed is trapped in the doll, so one day a family came to live in his house, but what the ghost did not expect is to fall in love with the couple's eldest daughter. Maybe this yandere ghost (doll) use the younger brother to get closer to his beloved...

I didn't really include the doll, but the overall idea is here ;)

Tw: nsfw, non - con, underage sex? (The reader is meant to be around 18, her brother is 16 - 17, but the ghost is 100+ so idk), (technically) incest, ghosts, possession, possessive/obsessive behavior, slight parental neglect ig

You knew it was a mistake moving into the old house up the hill. You tried arguing with your parents so many times about the mansion being hidden in the woods, so far away from any civilization, bringing up the fact it hadn't been bought for the last 8 years despite the insanely low price or the news about the previous owners dying in their sleep just like that, from "natural causes" even though they were an young energetic couple. But of course your worries had been discarded so easily since your younger siblings were ecstatic, constantly talking about finally living in a castle, which was obviously pushing it too far, but kids will be kids.

Your family was big, consisting of your mother, father, two younger sisters and a brother currently in his late teens. Your siblings managed to take all the nice bright rooms on the second floor so you were forced to sleep in the attic. At first it didn't seem so bad, yes, the place was dark and dusty, the space was limited, but it was a quiet spot and there were many interesting things left there to explore and discover.

The first week you discovered a huge box full of old books, medals, notebooks and different souvenirs from all over the world. The second week you found a few paintings covered by a thin disheveled cloak, most of them depicting a pretty young boy with golden locks and sad green eyes, dresses in an expensive silky clothing resembling what was nowadays considered an elegant suit. You didn't pay it much mind yet the miserable longing gaze of the kid haunted your dreams in the following days.

During the third week you noticed that things were going missing one by one. First it was your favorite lipstick, then your new dress, and suddenly your favorite items were gone just like that. On top of all, almost as if fate was tickling your paranoia, you could hear certain sounds at night that were too distorted be natural and too human to belong to an animal. There were sobs, loud and tormented, sometimes you could make up a few words in a language no one spoke anymore. You slept less and less each night, you could swear you felt someone's lingering touch on your shoulders, them gently stroking your hair and even pressing their cold unmoving lips on yours. This was usually the point when you opened your eyes and screamed in fear only to realize you were alone in the room. There was nobody there.

Still you decided to speak with your parents about the creepy events taking place in the attic. Much to your dismay they brushed your concerns off once again, laughing softly and calling you a scaredy - cat, going as far as to joke around about your "oh so creative" imagination getting the best of you just like it did in your childhood. But this time you insisted on holding your ground, almost begging them to take action and help you. At the end your mother decided to let you sleep in your brother's room for a while until you calm down, and as embarrassing it was to share a room with a hormonal teen, it was better than constantly being on the edge and losing sleep. Or so you thought.

The first night you slept in Steve's room nothing out of the ordinary happened and for the first time in weeks you actually managed to rest. The second night was blissfully peaceful as well and you quickly fell into a deep dreamless slumber.

The third night started well, just like the previous two. Your brother was tired from studying all day and went to bed early, giving you the freedom to relax a little bit before following his example. You could read a book or try to revise for your exam tomorrow, maybe even call your bestfriend and finally let her know all about your new classmates and just how boring life in the village was. But in that moment all these suggestion sounded annoying, nothing was interesting enough to hold your interest for more than a minute. Thinking about what to do next, you suddenly became aware that your body was tense and tired, but your mind was restless. After all you hadn't had time for self - care between the paranoia episodes and the fear, maybe it was finally time to do something nice and therapeutic for yourself.

You snatched a quick look at Steve and he was sleeping soundly, snoring from time to time, his usually angry face now calm and childlike. Making sure there was no one in the room awake, you finally slipped a hand down your pajama bottom until you felt the soft fabric of your panties. You closed your eyes and run a finger up and down your clothed sex, following the line of your slit. Your pussy throbbed at the sudden contact, the lack of pleasure in the last few weeks making it sensitive to the touch. You pushed your underwear lower so it hanged around your legs, and shoved one finger into your warm hole, enjoy the way your walls clenched around the digit. You flicked your clit gently, feeling it swell from the arousal, rubbing slow circles and pressing on your sweet spot every once in a while.

Your free hand went to your breasts, bare under the comfy oversized shirt, and awoke the cherry nipples with subtle pinches causing them to harden. You couldn't help but moan quietly as you decreased the pace of which you teased your hole and added a second finger in your pussy, fucking yourself on it. You were so focused on chasing your pleasure you didn't even notice the hand on your thigh pulling your own away from your excited throbbing core and replacing it with a big hard cock. Only once its head reached your tight entrance and pressed on it did your mind register the atrocious size difference. Your words stilled in your throat, the sudden panic rising in your chest, making your vision blurry and your cheeks rosy pink. You finally opened your eyes, your heart racing at the image of your younger brother towering above you with his member so close to entering your heat.

"Steve, what are you doing?" You whispered as you tried to squirm away from the boy, but he was quicker in pinning your wrists above your head in a deadlock. When did the male become so strong? Just yesterday he would ask you to open up his water bottle and help him with his math homework and now he was doing this...

"My name is Henry, my love." The voice was different from your brother's, lower and huskier, gentler in a way. You narrowed your eyes and observed the teenager's face, gasping as you noticed that his eyes had changed from black to green, yet all his other features had stayed stayed the same. You wanted to ask so many questions - who is Henry, why were your sibling's eyes and voice different from before - but you were quickly shut by one stern gaze. "I used to live here 80 years ago." The stranger started off with an unexpectedly soft tone as his grip on your wrists loosened. "I'm a ghost. I possessed your brother." He confessed calmly while you watched his pink lips part slightly with each breath as if you were in a trance before you found the strength to break your silence.

"Why are doing this to me? Why did you take my brother's body?" You questioned him manically, feeling like a confused little lamb sent to the slaughter, trembling and stuttering in front of a knife. Henry simply chuckled at your adorable dumbfounded expression and lowered his torso until his face was mere inches away from yours and you could feel his ice - cold breath on your warm red cheek. "Because I love you, darling." The ghost replied with a confident smirk that looked so weird and unnatural on the younger boy's face you almost gagged. Before you had the chance to say anything, he continued. "I've been wanting you for a while now, little girl. And with this body I can finally have you all to myself." You opened your mouth in a protest but your screams were easily muffled by a harsh kiss and a wet tongue down your throat. Next thing you knew the man had pushed your brother's manhood into your wet sloppy cunt in one sharp thurst and in your despair you had yelled for help once again, the ghost taking your whimpers greedily and shushing them away. Struggling was pointless.

In the next hour you were reduced to a sweaty whimpering mess of pain and arousal, fear and pleasure. The ghost was fucking you in a fast brutal pace while his free hand was playing with your clit, bringing you so damn close but never enough to send you over the edge. You were crying and your whole body was aching, your tits red from the rough manhandlind, your lips bruised and swollen from the rough kisses and bites. There were purple hickeys adorning your neck, belly and thighs and you went quiet in embarrassment every time you wondered how you would be able to hide them the next day.

"Please, whoever you are, let me come, I'm begging you." You pleaded desperately as you arched your back to meet the next couple of deep thrusts. Your cheeks were wet with tears and you could even taste the bitter salty flavor in your mouth mixed with your own drool and saliva. Upon hearing your meek pleas the man mercifully started hitting your cervix with each shove until his moves became sharp and quick, targeting your g-spot. You were so close you could feel your abdomen clench and tighten from the tingling sensitations. "Please..." You uttered weakly again, making doe eyes at your brother.

"Say you love me. Tie your soul to mine forever and I'll give you exactly what you want, beloved." Henry basically growled in your ear as he groped your breasts, squizing lightly the soft flesh. Your mind was so hazy and clouded you weren't sure how to respond so you just repeated the words easiest to grasp. "Love... you... forever, ngggh..." You muttered under your breath before moaning wantonly when the forceful thrusts finally sent you over the edge and your pussy clamped down in a big, satisfying orgasm. Your bliss was short - lived because soon the ghost was pounding into you again and again, keeping you too tired to move, struggle or even speak properly besides whimpering every once in a while. The rest of the night was a blur but eventually you fell asleep from the exhausting and the pleasure.

You woke up sore, your eyes red and puffy, your muscles tense and unnatentive. You rushed to look at your brother, but the teenager was sleeping just as peacefully as he did eight hours ago. One side of you was more than glad to know everything that had happened was simply a bad, terrible dream, while the other one still felt extremely uncomfortable and uneasy. You couldn't bear staying in the room any longer so you got dressed and went into the hall. Everyone else was still asleep and you felt as restless as if you hadn't caught a blink at all. You finally gave in to your paranoia and climbed the stars leading to the third floor.

You knelt on the ground where you had found the beautiful paintings. Those green eyes from your dream seemed way too familiar for it to be a coincidence. When you finally got a hold of your favorite piece, the one with the sad young boy, you had to cover your mouth to suppress the shock. There wasn't an aristocrat with golden locks on the picture anymore.

Now the one trapped in the painting was none other than you own brother, Steve. Instead of misery and pain in mysterious blue eyes, there was only terror in his tormented black ones. You screamed for the last time before you dropped the picture on the ground and ran away from the attic, the tears streaming down your face, but unfortunately, there was no escape from the restless dead souls.

[junkworldusa]

belated book asks, thank you for indulging me!

1- What book are you currently reading? bros karamazov, 2/3s through atm.

i hate that i’m thinking about pathologic (video game) the entire time but i can't help it. the way characters are constantly bursting into people's houses & going "you’re an angel, you're the best person i've ever met, you're a saint" to someone they just met 5 minutes ago is so. distinct. i joked on twitter that the first half of the book is just alyosha running around completing sidequests, which i still think is true, but once i got to the grand inquisitor part i was like "Okay mr dostoevsky, you’ve got me."

2- What book did you recently finish? "selections from science & sanity" by alfred korzybski, recently featured in the gumby quotes. a while back i listened to a 6 hour long interview with robert anton wilson where he talks about korzybski & general semantics so i gave it a shot. it's an abridged version of a 900 page book & i definitely plan on reading the full work at some point, it's wild. if you’re interested in language, consciousness, the gap between words & meaning, and/or hacking your brain i would recommend it. he repeats himself a lot but that's a side effect of his pedagogy, the goal of which is the eventual re-wiring of your entire nervous system in order to achieve a more rational worldview/healthier reactions to things. (so repetition via words/sounds/actions is necessary 2 engage the organism-as-a-whole.) the most important takeaway for me is that everything & everyone you interact with is a completely unique object, and this necessarily extends to temporality-- Bob in 1999 is NOT the same person as Bob in 2010, and treating them as though they were is a harmful mistake. interestingly enough, im taking a class with J.F. martel (weird studies podcast, author of "reclaiming art in the age of artifice") & last night he said what amounts to exactly the same thing, except he was arguing for like, a soft animism (i-thou vs. i- it) & korzybski was arguing for a more "rational" & secular world. so fascinating.

3- What’s a book that’s been on your to-read list for a long time? ulysses. i know. i know. i have a copy but keep bouncing off of it. idk why, i liked portrait of the artist as a young man. i think i’m worried i’ll turn into this person:

4- What’s the next book you’re hoping to read? i just got "speech play: research & resources for the study of linguistic creativity" in the mail so probably that. i'm on a childlore kick rn & this is like... horizontally related 5- Is there a book you own, but aren’t planning on reading?

around 2 years ago i was walking home after a show high on E & i ran into a guy i had met at work a couple times. went over to his apartment because MDMA is like, "everything is SO meaningful and SO much fun." i barely remember our conversation but he ended up being like "you would like this book, here take it, i have 3 copies." so i now own a copy of "the eater of darkness" by robert m coates. i still haven't read it. the moral of this story is [???]

6- What was your favorite series as a kid? Would you still read it now? so many of you asked this question :P

THE TRUTH: i was obsessed with lotr from age 8 to 13 with a level of dedication that i've never known since. yes, i would still read it now. i reread the silmarillion last year & it was naturally a way more rewarding experience than when i was a kid! 8- Fantasy or sci-fi? i like & have read a lot of older sf/f (le guin asimov pkd etc etc) but im not actively into either nowadays. i read whatever reaches me from the queer sf/f twitter pipeline (like whatever's on wizards vs lesbians) but otherwise dont pay much attention. so the answer is "idk!!!”

12- Have you ever read a celebrity memoir? If so, whose was it? the only memoir i've read in recent years has been "memories, dreams, reflections" so if jung counts as a celebrity, there you go 14- Fiction or non-fiction? non-fiction in both quantity of books owned & what i prefer reading. i almost view them as 2 separate activities bc the motivation for & experience of reading them are so wildly different 15- Favorite fiction genre? i know i said im not "actively into" sci fi but 16- Favorite non-fiction genre? "philosophy" i guess. i also really love any phenomenological/experience-based studies of paranormal stuff, like "the terror that comes in the night" by david hufford or anything by jacques vallée. basically books that both a) take strange experiences seriously & b) examine/catalogue them scientifically (to whatever degree). 

22- How do you organize your books? “poorly” 26- What’s your favorite book? fav non-fiction book: “time loops” by eric wargo. what if freud's career-making "irma dream" was a premonitory dream about the oral cancer that would severely impede his quality of life in his old age? (fantastic blog entry by the author, serves as a kind of intro to this topic: http://thenightshirt.com/?p=4326 )

when i read “time loops” it felt like everything i had ever read (& will ever read future tense) was for the sole purpose of understanding it. “time loops” picks up where J.W. dunne's 1927 "an experiment with time" left off. i won't say too much more about it but everyone should read it. it's so smart & engaging & will totally blow your miiiind, maaaan speaking of "an experiment with time," in 1964 a guy named vladimir nabokov began an experiment of his own following the directions dunne laid out in his book. dunne encouraged readers to write down their dreams in order to test the theory that a later event could generate an earlier dream.

nabokov’s experiment with dreams & time strongly influenced “ada or ardor: a family chronicle” which happens to be my favorite novel. i first read it when i was 18, and i've reread it 3 times since then (with the help of ada online, my beloved http://www.ada.auckland.ac.nz/ ) i would not recommend this book to anyone who doesn’t already like nabokov & know what he’s about. it’s fucked up & self indulgent & i love it so much

30- What character do you connect with the most? when jung said he was bad at math? i felt that

[silentfcknhill]

FAVORITE SHOWS IN POSTERS

Well, we’re back for another installment of this tagged meme, this time for TV shows! I also stole this from/was indirectly tagged by @jcmorrigan. My taste in shows also differs a bit from my taste in movies, as I tend to like a lot of comedy shows with not as many horror ones. I’m not into shows as much as movies overall, but there are some that I am very passionate about so I picked twenty again. So, here we go for part 2, in order:

1. Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend Of Korra (2005-2014)

I'm including these as one show since they take place in the same universe and tell a continuation of the same overall plot. Altogether this is probably the best piece of media to ever exist, including movies. It has so many great characters and villains especially and some of the most epic sequences, charming humor and heartwarming moments ever. I've never met a person who didn't like these shows, even people who normally don't like cartoons. My dad, who is biased against animation? He loved it. My mother? She loved it, watched it with her multiple times. My grandmother? Loved it. My ex-boyfriend? Loved it. My best friend? Loved it. I dare anyone not to, and I'm so glad it's making a resurgence since it's on Netflix for a new generation to enjoy.

2. Black Butler (2008-2014)

I never was big into anime growing up and only really started watching anime when I was like 16 and above, but this is one of the exceptions because holy shit is it ever dark and epic. I'm not sure I'd really recommend it for kids, it's more of a teens and young adults kind of anime and that's probably why it's so good, because it isn't afraid to explore dark and mature topics and do it with all of the intensity and gravitas required to do said topics justice. It has lots of great characters, and the story of demons who make deals with children who have a dark side is fun to watch play out.

3. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

My dad was a huge fan of this show so I watched it growing up since I was a toddler and it became a classic for me. I've watched thw hole show through at least 8 times, and I'll never stop because it never gets old or boring. It's also my only comfort show when I'm having a panic attack because of one time a few years ago when I was having a drug-induced psychosis episode and watching it calmed me down, so now it's like the opposite of a trigger and whenever I'm having an episode or something I watch it to bring me back to reality. For that reason it's more than a show to me, it's a medical treatment and I'm forever grateful to it.

4. The Good Place (2016-2020)

The big four shows made my Michael Schur all made it on this post (The Good Place, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office and Parks And Recreation), either in the main list of the honorable mentions, but this is my personal favorite of the four. It's so funny, quirky, relatable and basically tailor-made to suit my interests. Not only is it an entertaining and wholesome show, but I think watching it helped me come to terms with a lot of things like mortality, ethics, philosophy, religion and my relationships with other people. It gets  alot of different viewpoints across and if you're a very analytical and philosophical person like me you'll probably enjoy seeing it all play out. Not to mention, every single character is 'favorite character' material. It's rare you find a show with no filler characters in the main cast, but I genuinely can't choose who is best.

5. Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013-?)

Another of Michael Schur's shows, this one is just barely under The Good Place and to be honest it was tough to pick my favorite between the two because they're both equally funny. I know it's kind of controversial right now because of the whole law enforcement thing, but I actually think they do a good job of handling social issues in the show and remaining respectful of real-life systemic problems. As for the characters, this is another one of those shows where every single character is gold and I think that tends to be a trend among Schur's shows in general. He produces damn good comedy, and damn good characters. I can't wait to see what they bring next.

6. Rick And Morty (2013-?)

This is unfortunately one of those cases of 'great show, horrible fandom' and for that reason I don't get involved in the fandom even though I love the show. It's a shame because it really is a great show, so funny and, again, such good characters. I think it's a lot more accessible than the fandom likes to claim, so I'm hoping more people will give it a chance and not get put off by the intellectual elitism of the fandom because it does have some of the most entertaining and batshit crazy episodes ever, poking fun of some of the staples of science fiction in media while also poking fun of itself the whole time. Unlike the fandom, the show doesn't take itself seriously and that's enjoyable nowadays.

7. Orange Is The New Black (2013-2019)

While this show is a comedy, it is also a lot of other things and it's probably made me ugly-cry just as many times as it's made me laugh. Well, maybe not as often, but those few scenes (if you've watched the show then you know the ones I'm talking about) made me hysterically sob hard enough to be worth like fifty minor sads. But I didn't even mind because the show is just that good, and it makes you /feel/ something in a real way. Probably because of just how real it gets in terms of telling stories that happen all the time in the real world, sometimes with inevitably tragic endings. But these things do happen every day, and it's important to shine a light on that. It's not just representation for LGBTQ+ but also for POC, the neurodiverse, the poor, and many more. Give it a watch to broaden your perspective!

8. Big Mouth (2017-?)

This is probably the grossest show I've ever seen but by god is it ever funny. Maybe it's because I have an immature sense of humor or something, but I love this show. It definitely won't be everyone's cup of tea and I don't recommend you watch this show with anyone else around because it will get awkward. I think part of its appeal to me is that everyone I talk to who likes it considers it so relatable to their lives growing up but for someone like me who grew up on the autism and asexual spectrum and who was physically an early-bloomer by years, nothing about this show is relatable to me in any way so it makes it all the more crazy and bizarre watching how the people around me must have experienced things. Did y'all really have these experiences with puberty in middle school???

9. Dexter (2006-2013)

I recently heard that this show is coming back for a reboot soon and I'm so excited because this is my absolute favorite drama/thriller show, as evidenced by the fact that it's the highest one on the list so far that isn't a comedy. I love the idea of having a protagonist who is sort of a villain (or at least morally dubious), and the idea of a serial killer who only kills bad people is particularly satisfying for some reason. Maybe because he's the vigilante we all deserve and want in this unjust and evil world of modern times? Idk but the very premise of this show set it up for big things and aside from the ending I think it delivered consistently.

10. Once Upon A Time (2011-2018)

This show took us on some journeys, and you can't deny that. Sure, maybe it didn't always finish what it started and didn't always end in the most satisfying way, but part of its charm is that you didn't care because the experience was just so much fun. They took characters and stories that have been told to death and somehow managed to put a unique and unexpected twist on them, and that alone is admirable. Good twists, good villains, and pretty much every cliffhanger known to man will keep you hooked on binge-watching every episode.

11. RuPaul's Drag Race (2009-?)

A bit different than the other entries on my list in that it's not fiction but a reality competition show, but I couldn't leave Drag Race out because it's just so fucking iconic and perfect. Even when you disagree with the judges or can't stand a certain contestant you'll still be having a good time. It's got the personalities you love to love, the ones you love to hate, and the comedy that's completely meme-able. I mean just how much has this show contributed to pop culture and the internet? More than most of us, henny. I've watched every single season, even the international ones and all of the spinoffs. This show will probably be on for another thirty years when Ru is throwing shade from a hospital bed and I'll still be watching.

12. House (2004-2012)

Some people hate on this show, and I don't get it. I love House. Yes, he's an ass. That's the point. He's supposed to be unlikeable, and that's why I like him. Maybe because I always love the rude, sarcastic, misanthropic jerkass-genius characters for some reason. And I also love procedural shows, so it's a win-win. I also work in the healthcare field so it appeals to me for that reason too, because obviously the whole premise is outlandish which is what makes it funny. Of course it's not realistic for a hospital, so just enjoy the absurdity and don't get too hung up on the details of medical accuracy and professional ethics and you'll be fine.

13. The Office (2005-2013)

The third of Michael Schur's show and the last one that made the main list (sorry Parks And Rec, I love you too but there was just so many good shows to choose from and I saw you last so the nostalgia isn't as strong!) I don't think I need to hype this show up any, it's already a classic and you can't even turn around online without getting hit in the face by a dozen Office memes. You'll have to pry this show and it's relatable characters (especially Michael Scott) from my cold, dead hands.

14. All Hail King Julien/The Penguins Of Madagascar (2008-2017)

Like Avatar/Korra, I also consider this as one show for the sake of this list because it also takes place in the same universe (Madagascar, specifically) and I just couldn't choose one over the other because they're both so perfect. They're funny and I love all the characters (it cut out the weaker links of the Madagascar film series and just focuses on expanding the standout side-characters like King Julien and the penguins). It also delved into some lore, particularly the first show, and even though I didn't also agree with the directions it took (you may have seen me get salty about the ending because I cared too much), I can't deny how much I love it.

15. Bones (2005-2017)

One of the other scarce non-comedy shows on this list, it still has it's funny moments. It's also, like House, another procedural show that involves some medical stuff, but this time on a more scientific and forensic level which is even more interesting. It's nice to see a lead female with Asperger's, too. There's a lot of cop/law enforcement shows where they try to solve crimes, but this one is the best, and I'm saying that as a fan of CSI as well. Don't fight me on this, I'm right. Oh yes, it's corny, it's campy, it's cheesy, but I love every minute of it. Don't watch if you have a weak stomach though.

16. The Simpsons (1989-?)

We all grew up with this show, don't lie. It's been around longer than most people on tumblr have even been alive. Should it have ended seasons ago? Hell yes. But that doesn't take away what the first like 20 or so seasons gave us (there's a lot of argument about when the show jumped the shark, for me it wasn't until much later than the popular consensus). The characters are amazing, but the secret to the show's longevity is that they always return to status quo and there's comfort and nostalgia in that. Bart will still be in 4th grade when you're out there pushing 90. This show is persistent. This show is eternal. This show will outlive us all.

17. Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015-2018)

Sorely underrated. This show is hilarious, gruesome and campy as hell and I love it. I don't think you necessarily have to watch the Evil Dead movies beforehand in order to get the plot of the show, although it would probably help. In my opinion this show ended way too soon and I'm hoping someday we'll get a comeback because Ash is the reluctant, self-absorbed hero we all need and it's 2020 so at this point there really might actually be a demon-zombie apocalypse and who's gonna save us then if not for the impulsive womanizer with a chainsaw for a hand?

18. Malcolm In The Middle (2000-2006)

Another show I grew up with, I don't think it gets as much credit as it deserves. It has some damn funny episodes and great characters, and it did a lot of the popular sitcom tropes before they were 'cool'. Some other great sitcoms, The Middle in particular, took a lot of influence from this show and it helped pave the way for the future of sitcoms at a time when they were about to make a comeback. If you want a good show about the real experiences of growing up, this is a much more accurate representation of the highs and lows of being an awkward tween from a dysfunctional home.

19. A Series Of Unfortunate Events (2017-2019)

Unlike most people I actually liked the movie version from the early 2000's, and I read the books growing up so I was excited when I saw there was a live action television adaptation of it on Netflix because I felt like they cancelled the movie franchise too soon. I was interested to see how new actors would handle the roles, and I was not disappointed. I wouldn't say I liked either portrayal of the characters better or worse, they both added their own twist to it and this show is a great and loyal adaptation to the books, probably because the author was so heavily involved. He knew just when to stick to the books and when to improve upon what he had done with the benefit of hindsight. This show is basically the books, but remastered.

20. Winx Club (2004-?)

Sort of an odd one out on this list, but I really love this show even as an adult and it may surprise you to learn it is still going on and the most recent season came out last year. They take big breaks sometimes in between seasons, but it's still going strong and in multiple countries. The only thing I don't like about watching this show is all the different and inconsistent dubs since the original show is Italian and each dub only goes for a couple seasons so by the time you get used to one set of voices/names for the characters oyu have to abruptly switch to another, but it's still worth it for the beautiful animation and cool characters (especially the villains!)

Honorable Mentions: 

13 Reasons Why, America's Next Top Model, American Horror Story, Arrested Development, Bates Motel, Battlestar Galactica, Black Mirror, Care Bears, Chernobyl, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Criminal, CSI, Duck Dodgers, Goosebumps, Kenny Vs. Spenny, Kim Possible, Kingdom Hospital, Lazytown, Lost, Making A Murderer, Mayday, Mindhunter, Modern Family, Monster High, Obsession: Dark Desires, Parks And Recreation, Prison Break, Project Runway, Queer As Folk, Queer Eye, Salem, Schitt's Creek, SCTV, Spongebob Squarepants, The Emperor's New School, The Good Doctor, The Haunting Of Hill House/Bly Manor, The Middle, The Pretender, The Walking Dead, The X-Files, Through The Wormhole, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Unsolved Mysteries, Yugioh

Tagging: @bullet-farmer​ and anyone else who wants to!

[sinrevi]

These answers are outdated by now XD most were answered like 8 months to ONE YEAR  ago.

---- tagged by @moonstarbeam

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better Go tag yourself

1) name/nickname: sinrevi

2) gender: Female

3) star sign: Sagittarius

4) height: about 160cm

5) time: idk not writing this in one sitting and I’m not even answering the questions in order.

6) birthday: 10 dec

7) favourite bands/groups: uh... D-Out?

8) favourite solo artists: Yasunori Shiono

9) song stuck in your head: Let me be your wings

10) last movie: Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers  The Magic Sword: Quest for Camelot and I didn’t like it (not answering all questions at once, and the one I wrote first is already outdated XD So that’s why some answers are striked through)

11) last show: Goof troop (finished watched everything) Shinzo (Mushrambo)

12) when did i create this blog: *checks archive* November 2012

13) what do i post: At the moment mainly reblogging my old posts from when I was still active here XD Also reblogging some art of my art blog since it barely has followers. (Sinrevi from 2022: A bit more active now to check/post Rune Factory fandom bc of RF5. Also happy my art blog has gained some followers since I wrote that answer like a year ago, even if it still not a lot XD)

14) last thing i googled: Researching a lot of Wacom and Huion drawing tablets (I bought a Huion Kamvas 13 in the end) Whether Sago from Shinzo is bald under his helmet (no he is not)

15) other blogs: @sinrevi-art my artblog. The url used to be revi-art for a few years, but I changed it last year because a blog with a extremely similar url (one letter difference) leads to a tumblr full of butts and boobs and other suggestive halfnaked photos and I don’t want people to mistake that for me, when they misremember the url and end up on the wrong blog or something XD

16) do i get asks: Rarely nowadays

17) why i chose my url: It’s a username I’ve used since 2003

18) following: 120 121 136 as of today 2022

19) followers: 141 140 someone unfollowed 🤷‍♂️ 102 after Tumblr cleaned out deactivated accounts sometime during 2021 and one person unfollowed after XD

20) average hours of sleep: 7-9 hours

21) lucky number: idk

22) instruments: I can’t play any. But I own a ocarina because of Zelda XD

23) what am i wearing: Pink Scorbunny T-shirt I bought in a Pokémon Center in Japan last year (2020), pink socks and green pants.

24) dream job: big bad foomy

25) dream trip: I honestly don’t know what can possibly tip my Japan trip from last year XD (2020)

26) favourite food: Pizza Tonno

27) nationality: Dutch

28) favourite song: 🤷‍♂️

29) last book read: No idea. Unless manuals count. 

30) top three fictional worlds you’d like to live in: Sinrevi from 2022: I give up answering the last few unanswered questions XD Even the striked through answers are outdated by now*hits post button*

tagging: you

[scatterpatter]

Corren - 1 through 100 - You did this to yourself.

FUCK YOU *UN-IRONICS YOUR ASK*

UNDER THE FUCKING CUT

1. What do they smell like?

Bad. Do you think their party is able to regularly take showers? I thinketh the fuck not. ... Pine and old books when he can self care tho.

2. What is their voice like?

Listen I know Corren, being taller, would be more likely to have a deeper register but you'll tear "tenor Corren" out of my cold dead hands

3. What is their biggest motivator?

Spite.

4. What is their most embarrassing memory?

When he first met his BFF Alondra, he was so antisocial and good at ignoring people that she actually got the impression he might have been hard of hearing. She never let him live that down. (one day I'll finish this fic i promise)

5. How do they deal with/react to pain?

"I will keep all of my pain in here, and one day I'll die." ... Okay but listen he's squishy so he takes like one hit and is bloodied up. Someone get him a healer. Pls.

6. What do they like to wear?

He likes his cloak. Its weighty and soft(well. WAS soft. got a bit of wear and tear these days.) and like. Who doesnt love cloaks.

7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?

Ohhhhh fuuuccck this one's tough. I might have to go with Torvid honestly. While the entire party has had a positive impact on him(and trust me I was this close to picking Alistair), Torvid's been more of the one to call him out on his bullshit and to, oh I don't know, talk about your emotions? Ever??? Yknow BEFORE they become too much to handle and he absolutely breaks down???

8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?

Alistair's cooking.

9. Describe the way that they sleep.

Good luck finding him NOT cuddled up with at least one dog. Tbh he just enjoys cuddles in general.

10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?

FUCKIN. GIVE HIM A GOOD STEAK. THIS BOY IS MOSTLY CARNIVORISTIC.

11. What do they feel most insecure about?

As tempted as I am to say "His cooking", it's actually his singing.

12. How do they like to dress?

"Comfort over flashiness tbh. I gotta go ADVENTURING in whatever I wear after all."

"... Also don't you DARE perceive me as cishet."

13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?

Call him a genie because he will BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP.

14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?

Denial :D

15. What is their greatest achievement?

Shrike: Killing his dad

Me: NOOOOOO

EDIT: WAIT THIS WAS ANSWERED IN Q99 WHAT THE HECK

16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?

Somehow more of a dick than usual. Snappy and cranky and just. Mrehhh.

17. What are they like when they’re drunk?

Doesn't get drunk often, but when he does I imagine he's actually giggly and a little clingy. It's cute :)

18. What kind of music do they enjoy?

*Opens my Corren playlist* Oh yeah. It's either full edgy alt rock or indie alt "depressed millenial" tracks.

19. Are they right or left handed?

FFFuuhhhhck uhhhh well

Looking over my old art I can't seem to pick a dominant hand(I've even drawn him handling his sniper with either hand???????????) so like oops guess he's ambidextrous.

20. Fears?

The dark, the ocean, dying alone and forgotten, his friends losing their trust of him

21. Favorite kind of weather?

Rain!!!! Especially cool rain like what people often get in fall months.

22. Favorite color?

Indigo!!!

23. Do they collect anything?

Books :3

24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?

Cold weather by far.

25. What is their eye color?

Electric blue!

26. What is their race/ethnicity?

Well his race is a homebrew race known as Marelienth. Uhhh ethnicity? Idk he's from a mountain town way up north *shrugs*

In human aus I imagine him as half-Mongolian half-Norwegian so ayee

27. Hair color?

Black!

28. Are they happy where they are currently?

No :D He loves adventuring with his party don't get me wrong but he still has a lot of trauma to unpack. ... Also he was just possibly broken up with soooo. :/

29. Are they a morning person?

NOPE.

30. Sunrise or sunset?

*motions to above question* Sunset.

31. Are they more messy or more organized?

More organized, actually!

32. Pet peeves?

*unravels a list. It's all shit the party has done. Mostly Alistair.*

33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?

HOOUSIDSJFK- HE- Y-YEAH HE SURE DOES

His amethyst pendant used to belong to his brother, Julian, and he gave it to Corren right before they were separated so you BET it's sentimental as shit and he wears it daily.

34. Least favorite food?

Mecha's usually a great cook but one time trolled him with some absurdly spicy curry he couldn't handle and he's never forgiven them.

35. Least favorite color?

Hmmm. Maybe... yellow?

36. Least favorite smell?

He spent a year with his party in a damp cave and no showers, so uh. I'll give you a guess.

37. When was the last time they cried?

Literally last night in our game's timeline :D Full breakdown and everything!

38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?

Torvid :D He was there to comfort

39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?

One time they were in combat and Corren took a few hits and was down to about 2hp or so. He had a temporary level thanks to Kieran, which boosted his HP a little bit. When he teleported them to a safe town, though, well... Torvid was waiting for them so that's cool. But uh. Yeah that temporary level wore off then and there, dropping Corn Cob to exactly 0hp and he just- flopped down face first in the snow and started dying then and there KJNDKLFNSLKN

40. Do they have any scars?

:)

Do you want to talk about the scar over his eye from a fight he got in with his dad or like. The scars on his limbs from the time he was literally experimented on.

41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?

:)

Undiagnosed+Untreated Anxiety, Depression, DPDR, PTSD, just to name a few

42. Do they have any bad habits?

Running away from his problems, definitely.

43. Why might someone dislike them?

He's a pretentious nerd. He can be a dick if he doesn't care about you.

44. Why might someone love them?

He's an adorable nerd! He's a hopeless romantic and oddly enough an optimist. He's passionate and driven too!

45. Do they believe in ghosts?

Well ghosts are like- a canon proven thing in his world sooo. Yeah.

46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?

His party. Well- most in his party.

47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?

Nethyl :)

48. Are they dating/married to anyone?

He's dating Nethyl and they're in a happy and healthy relationship :) *politely ignores canon*

49. Do they like surprises?

NO >:(

50. When is their birthday?

Heroya 5th! I think. I don't wanna check, assume it's this.

51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?

"You guys celebrate your watchdays?"

Jokes aside, he mainly just treats himself to a nice dinner and a new book or something :)

52. Do they have any family?

Two older siblings: Julian and Mila. His parents are Andreas and Fanya!

53. Are they close to their family?

... *Coughs*. He was close with his siblings, but Mila died and he hasn't seen Julian in 30 years. Was close with his dad but last time they saw each other, they fought and Corren might have killed him so. ... Yeah. :/

54. What is their MBTI type?

FUCK uh. I... N... T... J? INTJ. Sure.

55. What is their zodiac sign?

In Sekrezia: The eagle

In our world: Uhhh. Idk. Capricorn????

56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?

Uhhh. Ravenclaw??? I know almost nothing about HP :/

57. What D&D alignment are they?

THIS ONE'S EASY- lawful neutral!

58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?

:)

Used to have typical nightmares, nothing special. Nowadays though he often dreams of being underwater. Not drowning, though. It's... weird. He doesn't like those.

59. What are their views on death?

He's a necromancer lol.

Death is inevitable, though. It's a necessary part of life. Death is not an entire loss, though. One lives on in the memories others carry of them, in the love they hold in their hearts. Death is complicated, but that's okay.

60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?

Alistair :)

61. When bored, how do they pass time?

Dog time :)

62. Do they enjoy being outside?

... Ehhhhhh?

63. Do they have an accent?

Technically??? It's an accent from where he's from but like. I just barely tweak my own voice when I rp him so? Damn Corren I'm sorry you've been cursed with east coast dialect.

64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?

"Damn who's the rich bastard here?" (cake is kinda a delicacy in their world- not like elites only but not NEARLY as common as it is here)

65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say?

Reassurance mode to whomever he's with. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm okay. Remember what I told you, death is a natural part of life, yeah? I don't have any regrets, I'm okay... Just. Thanks. For giving me a chance. Thank you. Thank you."

66. How do they feel about sex?

I SWEAR he's allosexual. I'm just bad at writing allosexuals.

67. What is their sexuality?

He doesn't really know how to pin it down, so he just calls himself "queer". Definitely not straight, that's all he knows.

68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?

AHAHA no. He's hella desensitized

69. Is there anything that they find really gross?

Skulking cyst. Look it up at your own volition. It's. NO.

70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?

It's 12:21 in the morning and I'm NOT about to scroll through a bunch of tv tropes just. just. NERD stereotype.

71. Do they enjoy helping people?

Yyyyes? Only really if it's the people he cares about.

72. Are they allergic to anything?

Bullshit.

73. Do they have a pet?

WINGTHARA!! HIS SKELE-DOG!!!

74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?

Oh yeah he's all bark and no bite. He usually just throws a little fit and/or yells.

75. How patient are they?

More than he should be :/

76. Are they good at cooking?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?

Oh yes he insults the others all the time. No particular favorite, he likes so spice it up.

78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?

Stim. Stim. Stim. His eyes get all sparkly and he. He.

79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?

He will do everything in his power to assure they won't ever have to deal with their fears alone- You afraid of spiders? It's his job to get the spiders from now on so you won't have to deal with them.

80. Are they trustworthy?

Oh yeah. He's like Rapunzel- doesn't break promises.

81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?

Oh yes he tries to hide it. And yes, he's awful at it.

82. Do they exercise regularly?

Yes and no? No like- exercise regimen, but the amount of travelling and fighting they do is just- a workout in and of itself

83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?

Yeah! He's cute and he knows it baybie!!!

84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?

He,,, he likes someone who's physically stong,,, Muscles are,,, aaaaa >///>

85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?

Someone he can nerd out with :)

86. Do they like sweet foods?

Impartial to it. He won't turn sweets away but he's not crazy about them either.

87. What is their age?

43, the equivalent of- I think someone in their mid 30s?

88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?

He's 6'8" :) Which is actually normal for his race

89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?

Sometimes! I like to think he has reading glasses or something like that.

90. Do they consider themselves attractive?

HE'S CUTE AND HE KNOWS IT.

91. What is their sense of humor like?

Julian tainted his sense of humor and now he finds the most dumb shit hilarious. Think very millenial/GenZ humor like "I wish I was Jared, 19"

92. What mood are they most often in?

"I don't get paid enough for this" or Fear.jpg

93. What kinds of things anger them?

People who don't keep their FUCKING WORD. Oh and like. Yknow. Half the shit his party does.

94. Outlook on life?

Again he's??? Oddly an optimist? In the "Things will get better and that is a fucking THREAT" way, but still optimist!

95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?

Talk about his family :) Or the fact that his boyfriend might want him dead :)

96. What is their greatest weakness?

He's squishy as fuck. He goes down easy.

97. What is their greatest strength?

He's extremely intelligent and great with magic and his sniper!

98. Something that they regret?

Not doing more to stop his brother when he tried to resurrect their sister

99. Biggest accomplishment?

Either convincing an entire town his name is Torren or accidentally convincing some very OP people that he's secretly a dragon.

100. Create your own!

FUCK YOU I SPENT LIKE 2 HOURS ON THIS. NO PROOFREAD. IVE ALREADY DESIGNED CORREN'S AND NETHYL'S HYPOTHETICAL KIDS. ANYWAYS THEY'RE TWIN IRINAGA AND I'VE NAMED THEM AFTER THE DNDADS TWINS: THEIR NAMES ARE LARK AND SPARROW.

[nukenai]

Have had a lot of Thoughts in my head today due to listening to Earthbound music, so I wanted to try to write up a “little” thing about my relationship to the series and my currently difficulty with it... and also Super Mario RPG, and Geno, and what those mean to me, because the two series are totally intertwined with my life and each other. I’ve written this sort of thing before but idk, I got Smash on the brain and shit.

TWs for domestic abuse and familial death.

So. I was probably 15 or 16 when I got into the Mother series. I’d started getting into playing Melee a lot more for some reason and I decided to start playing as Ness, the one character I always had severe difficulty with. Long story short I looked up Earthbound, got a ROM, blah blah. My mom wound up buying me a physical copy even though I told her she didn’t have to bc of the price. I cosplayed Ness to like every con. My mom bought me a blue and white striped shirt and HAND PAINTED the white stripes yellow, and surprised me with it one day. I wore my Ness outfit to Brawl’s midnight release.

I honestly don’t remember HOW I got into Mother 3 but I got my hands on a copy. My Japanese teacher let me play it in class because she considered it studying (the fan translation didn’t remotely exist yet). I even got the Mother 3 Deluxe Box, so I have the Franklin Badge (which is now in rough shape from wearing it on my Ness cosplay hat for YEARS), and the Mother 3 gameboy micro! (it’s actually next to me right now, I bought a display stand for it the other day).

My cat is named Lucas! I’m sure most people know that but yeah, he’s named after Mother!Lucas because of course he is.

Back in those days, I kind of lurked on Starmen.net. I didn’t really post on forums much because they were never really my thing and still aren’t, but I just kind of poked around there and was on /v/ a lot in the Mother threads. For some reason, in certain Mother circles, there was a prevailing attitude... which was that you didn’t like SMRPG. The idea was that SMRPG was to blame for EB’s poor sales(????) and that it wasn’t as good of a game(????) and that we should be angry at it(????????). It made sense to me as a 16 year old! I mean, my favorite game ever, Earthbound, didn’t sell well. and that’s why Nintendo doesn’t care about it. And it’s ALL MARIO’S FAULT. AND GENO’S. FUCK HIM.

I didn’t know who Geno was in 2006-2007. Only when Brawl was announced and pre-release hype started did I learn about him. I started seeing him everywhere on /v/ threads and on deviantart, and my dumb ass was like, “who tf?”

Some more quick backstory. I did not grow up with an SNES. For some reason we skipped it. I had an NES, then we had other things like a Genesis and PS1, then N64. We had an SNES briefly when borrowing it from a friend, but the only games we had were DKC and Chrono Trigger. I was like 7 years old at this time so I barely remember wtf was going on then. But, we never owned one, and never had the chance to play ANY other SNES games besides those two.

Our household was a console war-free one. We loved Mario, we loved Final Fantasy. We didn’t care about company or console or anything, we just liked good games. So, SMRPG would’ve been an amazing addition to our house. We would’ve loved it. Somehow, it escaped it. Maybe the world wasn’t quite ready for my intense Geno love yet.

Anyways, I hated Geno in 2007, once I learned who he was. I went around trashing SMRPG, a game I had never played or had any interaction with (I don’t think I’d even seen any gameplay footage wtf), and yelling about how Geno was a stupid character who should never be in any other games, because I, an angry 16 year old girl, said so. (At least I didn’t pull out the line many angry 16 year olds have nowadays, which is that nobody played SMRPG. ?????????)

So Brawl comes out. Quick summary of Lucas’ reveal and my experience: I stayed up until 2am every day to check the Smash Dojo website -- we called it JAPAN TIME! -- but I skipped it one day, because I was in high school. My Japanese teacher asked if I wanted to check “the Super Smash Update” in her class like I usually did if I’d forgotten the night before, but I said nah, it’s fine. I’ll check it at home.

AND THAT UPDATE WAS LUCAS BEING ADDED.

So that was bananas. At this point I already had my cat and he was a few months old so it was all very weird! And we had just moved into a new house.

At that time, I was living with my mom and stepdad. My stepdad was a domestic abuser. He emotionally and physically abused my mom and threw us out of the house on multiple occasions. I was picked up from school more than once by my mom with all the animals in the car and was told, “We can’t go home today”. To this day, half of my belongings are missing forever because we had to leave them behind while fleeing him.

One time when we escaped to where I currently live, my grandparents’ house, my grandmother (who I live with!) berated my mom for being “overdramatic” and only let us stay a week before convincing her to go back to stepdad. Oma has also recently told me that she thinks my mom was “mouthy” and basically deserved to get abused by her husband, so that’s very fun.

Anyways, Earthbound was basically my saving grace during all this shit. I intensely hyperfocused on it and Smash Bros. as a way to cope with the utter shit I was going through. Like I said, I was in high school during all this and didn’t ever miss a day of school because of it. I failed one class only, because my English teacher did not care that I was dealing with not being able to live in my home. Lmao. (I later took a summer class with the best teacher ever, wound up being an extremely formative experience for me. Second day said teacher handed me back a piece of work with an A on it and leaned over my desk and asked, ‘Why are you here? You don’t belong here.’ Very cool guy thank you Mr. Fairchild for looking horrified when I told you my story)

I remember spending a month or two at my mom’s friend Janet’s house while we were trying to find an actual place to live. Me and my mom had to sleep in the same room. Phantom Hourglass had recently come out, that was really fun. I taught Janet’s young daughter about Zelda and Smash Bros. I remember her thinking Roy was cute!! We played a bunch of Melee together.

We eventually got a little house to rent. Brawl came out. Mom went to the midnight release with me, taking pictures of me in my Ness outfit, standing outside in the cold of March because the Gamestop was not big enough for all of us! They held a mini tournament while we were waiting and I had signed up weeks beforehand. (The guy at the counter worriedly told me I had to be 13 to sign up-- i was 18 at the time LMAOOO this is my life). When asked what character I wanted, I nervous yelled, Lucas! So I got to play as Lucas for the first time. But I had to use the Wiimote and Nunchuks and I was shaking uncontrollably. Won my first round though!

So anyways Brawl was great! Loved Brawl. So much fun. Then people started datamining it, and found a list of “lost tracks” - they were txt files of song titles that were removed. I was PISSED because there were like NINE Mother songs on there, and also the Ballad of the Wind Fish. FUCK.

But there was one other song that caught my eye. The title was “morinokinoko”, which everyone rightly assumed to be Beware the Forest’s Mushrooms. (The Smash wiki or the cutting room floor, can’t remember, currently disputes this, but they are morons because mori no kinoko ni goyoujin  is literally the Japanese title of BTFM. You fucking morons.)

Anyways, someone put together an album called Brawl - The Lost Tracks. They collected as-official-as-possible versions of the cut songs. I downloaded it and enjoyed some Mother songs and the Wind Fish remix, wherever it came from.

So I was sitting there at my computer, staring at the folder. Squinting at Beware the Forest’s Mushrooms. I was saying to myself, That’s that Geno guy’s song. The Super Mario RPG song, people called it. I had never heard it before. I was bitter and angry at this Geno guy and I hated him and his dumb game. So I don’t know what made me listen to the song. I think I thought something like, how bad could it be? I should give it a chance. It’s music.

And boy, this is long, but I won’t get into it. I’ll just say, I wept at my desk, feeling like the biggest idiot in the world, that I let my anger and stupid ego keep me from a song like this for so long. And just like that, my emotions did a 180 and Geno was like a savior to me. I felt rescued from a lot of misdirected anger and pain. I was going through a lot, you know? It’s not surprising that I acted like that.

When we had that little house we rented, things started going well. Mom started dating this nice guy who had horses. She bought me a copy of Super Mario RPG for my birthday, and a weird bootleg SNES thing to play it on. I remember sitting in my mom’s boyfriend’s house on a summer day, playing SMRPG. I remember staring at the big TV as Geno leveled up and learned Geno Whirl. I took a photo of the TV with my crappy digital camera.

Right as SMRPG entered my life, i felt like things were finally going to be okay.

So then, of course, my mom got sick. She got sick while we were living in an apartment; our rental on the house only lasted so long. Everything was crashing down again. Our lease was up on the apartment, and we had to move in with my grandparents. My Opa (grandfather) had had a stroke and now mom was sick. We lived in the house for a year. I helped Oma care for both of them as they withered away.

Opa died in May 2011, 2 weeks before my birthday. Mom died that October. It was not a good year.

A lot of my memory of that time feels blocked. We could only visit my mom once a week when she went into the hospital in July, supposedly for an overnight stay, but she never left. I was going to college. When she died i took one day off, then was back to class, which horrified my professors but what could I do? I had tests. I remember my friend Rose and her friend running up to me immediately, asking if i was ok. I wasn’t, but like, yeah. It was different than having someone die suddenly. I’d been watching my mom die for months and she had been unresponsive and not conscious for weeks. I had already said goodbye to her a while before that, I guess.

So I guess when I felt my most lost, I still had Geno? I still had things like hope he would get into Smash. I still had Beware the Forest’s Mushrooms. I’d always liked to stargaze, since I was the tiniest kid, but since 2008 I had an extra reason to look up at the sky and hunt meteors and make wishes. Wishes that good things would happen to me and that I’d be alright.

My bad times are so tied to Earthbound and Mother. And after I lost my Mother, going back to Mother 3 - my favorite in the series - was just a little bit harder. I’m not making this up, but my mom really loved Sunflowers and all our houses were decorated with them everywhere. So, that’s fucked up. I have a copy of Mother 3 with the fan translation installed, so it’s in English. A couple years ago I decided to finally play it. I got until maybe 1/3 of the way through Chapter 2 before I had a massive panic attack and breakdown and had to stop playing. Haven’t touched it since and don’t know if I ever will.

It’s hard to listen to the game’s music sometimes. It’s hard to talk about it sometimes. There’s a kind of unspoken agreement going on in my life I guess - my friends pretty much NEVER bring up Mother 3 around me. I don’t know if it’s by coincidence or not, I know not all my friends read my internet posts. But I do actively ask that people don’t talk to me about it now, unless I bring it up. It’s been 10 years but sometimes I am just Not Up for reliving my trauma in public, you know?

Mother 3 has the dead mom trauma, and Earthbound has the domestic violence trauma attached to it. It’s a lot. Super Mario RPG to me is the healing, the better. Yes everything came crashing down, but that was so long after I’d been saved by it. I had something to believe in with Geno and Smash and wishes and stars and music. Something to live for, I guess.

So December 2020 was a bit of a rough year for me, lol. I am legitimately very damaged and traumatized by what happened in December, and I try to joke about it. In the past couple of weeks I’ve been able to say, I do feel like I’m healing just a little bit. But it really feels like the last thing I actually believed in and had hope for was shot down. For a couple months I was legit living my life like it had no purpose and I had nothing to live for. I sold some belongings and was spending money recklessly and almost started drinking.

And I haven’t talked about any of this because literally nobody has asked how I’ve been doing in months. No one has checked up on me or considered that I was seriously upset. I’m only a little bitter about it, but I’ve put a little bit of distance between me and the people who either actively harmed me in December or very blatantly didn’t reach out. I will give credit to the several friends who DID actually send me messages after that shit. I won’t name them or anything but you know who you are, and I’m so thankful for you. It was maybe 3 people? I know it’s easy to get bored of me, but for fuck’s sake.

A friend even told me that some of his friends were sending messages to HIM, asking if I was alright. Which is cool, but maybe also reach out to me? I am human and do need legitimate, active support sometimes instead of nebulous “here for you <3″ tweets on random Tuesdays.

Anyways. That’s baaasically my story leaving chunks of time and repeated Sadness Fits out. That’s the backbone of it I guess. Dealing with the death of a parent at 20 years old is fucked, especially when you were a sheltered baby like me who relied on her mother for everything. I had to buck the fuck up and do everything myself.

Another thing I should mention. I have many family members that live close that are in regular contact with my immediate family. Not a single family member offered any help or support during that time, or even acknowledged what was happening. Not a single family member has ever asked how I’ve been since my mother’s death. No one ever brings it up. No one brings up my mom’s death, or the domestic violence we both suffered. If I try to mention it, I’m told to forget it because it was “so long ago”, but I was also told to do this maybe 6 months after my mom died. My family is not a neglectful bunch, but this was just one issue they could not be fucking assed to deal with, I guess.

Several times I texted my sister, begging to come to her house because mom and stepdad were having a physical fight and breaking things. But she had to work the next day, so you know, of course not. To this day, no apology, no acknowledgment. It’s assumed I have stopped caring, and I’m the bad guy for ever bringing it up.

So like, idk yeah go ahead and say I’m “obsessed with Geno” or whatever. But here’s the reality: I’m a 30 year old adult who has a full time job. I’m in amazing standing at my job and I’m great at it and my old supervisor was angry at my new supervisor for taking her best agent when I got a promotion. I’ve been in the workforce since a few months after my mom died. I hold down a job. I pay my bills. I’ve got pets and horses I care for. I have a car I make payments on. I have NO debt. I’m not exactly a 19 year old on twitter who calls an anime character their Comfort Character and talks about them nonstop, and who also cannot make phone calls without having a breakdown afterwards.

I don’t wanna be shitty toward other people who weren’t forced to put up or shut up as aggressively as I was. But I get very annoyed at my accomplishments being degraded, my single-handed progress disregarded because “man, all she cares about is Geno getting into Smash”, or whatever. My family is very like this, getting on my case about having fucking tattoos or pets without ever asking me what I do at my job.

I work very, very hard. And I currently live a life I’m proud of that I enjoy. But because of a life of emotional abuse (from my mom, definitely, but this isn’t the time), I’m constantly second-guessing myself. I’m stupid for wanting a couple more frogs even though it would add about $15 a month to my expenses and they would make me extremely happy. I’m wasting my time getting a trainer for Rogue because I was stupid to get her to begin with. Shit like that. Idk.

But deep down I know I’m proud of myself and I know my mom would be proud of me, so I just wish I had the energy to tell people to fuck off more. Who cares if they think I like Geno too much, or whatever. I’m at a place in my life where I’m the priority, and I can afford to make myself happy, so I’m gonna do it. It’s a fucking miracle I’m still alive with all the shit I’ve been though and I can still get through a day with a smile on my face.

This isn’t really an ending and went kind of off the rails. It’s all happening bc on the drive home from the vet (Barnaby just had an establishing visit, no concerns), I put on this song and just sobbed my whole way home, thinking about all of this. I honestly feel that if Mother had remained my Primary Thing, I would’ve continued to be angry and bitter and would’ve never begun to heal from the things I went through. And maybe I’ll never completely heal, but most things don’t ever completely heal.

10 years is a long time to kind of actively avoid an entire series that means so much to me. I’ll dabble periodically like I am now with putting on my Mother playlist and crying at it for hours. But hey, I’m getting there. I’m trying to work through my hurt in my own way. And if gets to be too much, there’s always the 10 hour loop of Beware the Forest’s Mushrooms, which I super actually legitimately have on my ipod. (It’s a 180gb one, it does not care).

So.. I guess that didn’t really address a LOT, but I kind of just wanted to rant and scream incoherently about how my relationship with the Mother series became very complicated very quickly, and how SMRPG basically rescued me from falling into the worst possible places.

And as I was driving home I was thinking of something, about how painful it is for me that Geno leaves at the end of the game. Because when he leaves, it means wishes can come true again. If I never beat the game, Geno never leaves, but Star Road remains broken and wishes cannot come true. So I have to say goodbye to him in order for things to go back to normal.

But I said something on twitter earlier that was more stupid than profound. I said that if I wind up being the last person alive who cares about Geno, then so be it. Because he’ll never be truly gone or forgotten until I’m gone. And I’m so fucking obnoxious about my love for him that through whatever legacy I’ve left, he’ll be remembered, too. Even if every other person on earth forgets about him, there will still be me. And if I hang in there, he’s hanging in there.

This song. This song.............. This song is really, really a lot in regards to all this, and him, and it’s what I’ll end this mess on.

[slytherinliththorne]

Lith Thorne’s Profile

New Template by  @cursebreaker-lilith​​

~BASICS~

Name: Ailith Thorne Rosas.

Nicknames: Lith, Witchling.

Name Meaning: Idk man I don’t remember :b

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 16

Birthday: December 10

Zodiac: Sagittarius

Blood Status: Half-Blood

Sexuality: Biromantic asexual

Ethnicity/Nationality:  Mexican

~APPEARANCE~

Body:

Height: 1.65

Build: Slim

Eyes: Golden

Hair: White

Skin: White

Misc:  She has a rune in her chest product of her curse. A small scar in her forehead from when she was little and fell, it’s almost unnoticeable.

Material Items:

Clothing: Hogwarts uniform mostly. Lith has almost no fashion sense, so she resorts to comfy hoodies, plain shirts and jeans. She also owns a few stylish and girly clothes, but won't use them unless necessary.

Accesories: An amethyst earing in later years, a necklace with a feather of Talbott’s and a teeth of Jacob.

In their school bag: Her sketchbook, pens, pencils and chalks, a deck of cards, her wand, a woven bracelet,  her amethyst charm that becomes an earring in later years.

Reference:

Face claim: None

Voice claim: None

~PERSONALITY~

Traits:

Positive:

Lucky: For some reason, Lith has super good luck for the most trivial things, like managing to get a cauldron just before Potions class starts because she forgot hers. She assumes it must be the universe’s compensation for cursing her.

Resourceful: To any problem she encounters, from a forgotten homework to escaping death, she will always have a set of solutions already elaborated in her mind. They might not always work as she wants, but they certainly save her ass.

Intelligent: She is a nerd and an overachiever. She enjoys learning and hyperfixates on a lot of interesting subjects during the course of her life.

Neutral:

Introverted: While she can handle big groups, Lith gets stressed out quickly. She prefers being on her own or with a few friends.

Daydreamer: Lith’s head is always on the clouds, she has whole worlds inside, but never actually gets to express them, not that she minds. She also has a very vivid imagination.

Negative:

Insecure: She gains more confidence as she grows older, but she will always doubt her abilities and her own worth.

Workaholic: No matter what she does, she has to give her best. That causes many sleepless nights and some eyebags once in a while.

No emotional intelligence: When it comes to matters of the heart, she has no clue how to proceed. She finds it difficult to read the mood of a room or identify when someone is feeling down. In the same way that she has a hard time figuring out her own emotions and naming them.

Description:

Something something I’ll write it later

Other:

Likes: Solitude, art, books, muggle trinkets, sweets, winter.

Dislikes: Blood supremacy, loud places, summer, heat.

MBTI: INTP

Alignment: Neutral Good

~HOGWARTS~

Hogwarts House: Slytherin.

OWL CLASSES:

Astronomy: E

Charms: O

DADA: E

Flying: A

Herbology: A

History of Magic: O

Potions: A

Transfiguration: E

OWL ELECTIVES:

Care of Magical Creatures: A

Apparition: O

Divination: A

NEWT CLASSES:

Charms: O

Transfiguration: A

History of Magic: E

Extracurriculars:

Art

Muggle art

Best Classes:

Charms: Lith was taught charms by Jacob since he began Hogwarts when he noticed his sister had a particular proficiency with them, so when Lith arrived she was a bit ahead of her peers and continued to hone her skills on more advanced charms on her own.

History of Magic: Lith has always been a History nerd and History of Magic was a class she enjoyed and easily excelled in. Not much because of the Professor but Rowan and the study groups they would organize.

Worst Classes:

Flying: When in her human form, she is terrified of heights and hates flying.

Herbology: Lith and plants is something that is just not meant to be.

Favorite Professors:

Silvanus Kettleburn: He is eccentric, he is encouraging and he cares not about the world except for his beloved magical creatures. Lith admires his dedication and appreciates a non conventional teacher like him.

Patricia Rakepick: While Lith never fully trusted the curse breaker, she would be lying if she said that she did not enjoy Rakepick’s classes. She was probably the best professor of DADA she ever had.

Least Favorite Professors:

Severus Snape: Despite being her Head of House, Lith never liked Snape. He could mean well and she would be grateful for that but please be at a minimum distance of 6 feet apart. His attitude was the opposite of encouraging and she hated it.

Madam Hooch: She is scary :(( please don’t yell at her for not knowing how to fly she doesn’t need a broom anyway ;-;.

Affiliations/Organizations:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Slytherin House

The House of Thorne

Circle of Khanna

The Werewolf Support Squad (with Jae, Talbott, Chiara and Rowan)

The Silver Coven (with Summer Charn and Catherine Stark)

Professions:

Freelance curse breaker.

Independent Rescuer.

Part-time artist and painter.

~MAGIC~

1st Wand:

Willow wood

10

Surprisingly swishy

Unicorn hair core

“Willow is an uncommon wand wood with healing power, and I have noted that the ideal owner for a willow wand often has some (usually unwarranted) insecurity, however well they may try and hide it. While many confident customers insist on trying a willow wand (attracted by their handsome appearance and well-founded reputation for enabling advanced, non-verbal magic) my willow wands have consistently selected those of greatest potential, rather than those who feel they have little to learn. It has always been a proverb in my family that he who has furthest to travel will go fastest with willow.” (Pottermore.)

2nd Wand:

Macpalxochitl wood

113/4

Slightly Yielding

Huactli feather core

Disclaimer: this is my own lore.

Macpalxochitl, or the Devil’s Hand Tree, became a popular wood to make wands out of when the afrancesamiento of Mexico began. Old chroniclers would often refer to this tree as “worthy of any castle and palace”, so it was sought by wizards of high status. Nowadays it’s existence is very rare and only a few wandmakers are allowed to handle this tree. Wands of this wood tend to be stubborn, but they will remain loyal to their first owner. It is said that it’s better suited to healing magic, but that doesn’t mean it’s not able to turn to the Dark Arts.

The Huactli  is a strange eagle-like bird that feeds on snakes. Its peculiarity is that it’s is able to speak the language of men and predict their future. It is said that if you hear it laugh, it means good luck, but if it mutters sadly, it can translate in danger, sickness and death. Wands of this core make powerful spells, but are often unpredictable and difficult to tame. Their loyalty is easily gained and easily lost, though this may vary depending on the wood. 

Boggart 

Form: A big twisted grackle like humanoid with bright golden eyes.

Riddikulus: The grackle suddenly doing the chicken dance.

Amorentia

What they smell: Hot chocolate, books and oil painting (turpentine lmao).

What they smeel like to others: Mint, paint and parchment.

Patronus

Form: Jaguar (for Jacob), Eagle (after Talbott).

Memory: Family reunions on her Mother’s side of the family. All her cousins running around while the adults played cards.

What they see in the Mirror of Erised: Jacob and her, side by side, with the marks of their curse erased from their chests. As the years pass, more people are added into the picture behind them, like Chiara, Rowan, Talbott and Jae. After Rowan dies, their image takes Jacob’s place by Lith’s side.

~FAMILY~

Father: Daniel Thorne.Pureblood wizard.

Curly white hair (not due to the curse tho), white skin and golden eyes. Her dad is her greatest supporter, anything she wants to do he is right behind her cheering for her. He is a little bit eccentric but he loves to indulge his children's interests and spoil them. However, he is not available in the emotional department, he doesn’t know how to deal with those problems.

Mother:  Perla Rosas Villareal.

Muggle. Curly brown hair, brown skin and brown eyes. Her mom is strict but loving. Lith always seeks her for emotional support, she listens patiently and offers help only when asked. She is the one who makes her question things and they often get into arguments because of that.

Brother: Jacob Thorne Rosas

Half-blood wizard. The reason for all this mess. Curly silver hair, brown skin and golden eyes. An introverted and sweet guy, but very naive and trusting. The relationship between the Thorne siblings had always been good. Sure, they fought and argued, but they got along pretty well. After the Vaults, Lith became wary of her own brother, but when it all ended they began to reconstruct their relationship, though it will always be damaged.

Pets:

Onyx (Grackle): He is not exactly her pet, he is the other half of her soul aka her Companion.

Nox: A black cat that stayed back at home with her parents.

~FRIENDS~

Best friends:

Rowan Khanna

Chiara Lobosca

Jae Kim

Good friends:

Badeea Ali (they are art rivals but in a friendly way)

Charlie Weasley

Bill Weasley

Tulip Karasu

Friends:

Penny Haywood

Barnaby

Murphy

Andre

It’s Complicated:

Love Interests:

Talbott Winger (he is the only one I have a description for atm, the others are in another post if I remember correctly lol)

They met when Lith was trying to break her curse via the animagus potion, a thing that obviously didn’t work.

After the failure of the potion (of which Talbott is not aware), they began to notice they shared similar hiding spots, such as the Owlery, and started to acknowledge each other’s existence by simply saying hello.

Then Lith started to get closer again, asking him about the potion and being an animagus. He got suspicious and ended up discovering Chiara and Lith were trying to turn Jae into an animagus to accompany them during Chiara’s werewolf transformation.

He agreed to help them and became a member of the Werewolf Support Squad, a little bit against his will but he warmed up to them eventually.

They started to get close during those night escapades. They hung out more together (with the Squad) even after the full moons.  

Recovering Talbott’s necklace was the first time they got close one on one. It was also the moment they began to develop feelings for each other, even if they couldn’t name them yet.

They like being alone together, and started acting as a couple before they actually became one.

The moment Talbott realizes he has fallen for Lith is a morning after the full moon, when they are all in the Room of Requirement trying to get some sleep and the only thing he can look at is her.

For Lith it takes more time to realize her massive crush. It happened when Talbott fell asleep in the library while studying together. Tulip comes in and says something like “could you tell your boyfriend to wake up, Lith Thorne? We are having a House meeting soon.” Lith’s like “he is not my boyfriend tho??” and Tulip just answers “Really? Thought you were dating for months.” And leaves. That’s the moment when Lith looks at sleeping Talbott and omg he is cute and we certainly do look like a couple oh fuck.

Yet neither of them thinks the other is interested, so they continue like normal.

Until they stay behind in the Room of Requirement one time and they accidentally confess and bam guess they are a real couple now.

They graduate. Talbott gets his own place and works as an auror, Lith travels the world as a curse breaker. They meet sometimes and go on dates.

The year of Voldemort’s uprising, they have a fight and they both go their separate ways, though they never once mention breaking up.

They reunite in the Battle of Hogwarts, Talbott almost dies and they apologize to each other.

Lith moves in with Talbott after that and they marry and adopt two kittens.

Dormmates:

Merula Snyde

Ismelda Murk

Rowan Khanna

Doesn’t interact:

Merula Snyde

Ismelda Murk

Diego Caplan

Bea Haywood

Enemies:

Merula Snyde (formerly)

Patricia Rakepick

R

~STORY~

Childhood: 

Lith was born in a middle low class family in the Valley of Mexico, with a malediction in her blood. Her early childhood consisted of playing with the children in the same street and Jacob. Since insecurity was still not that high in the city, her mom would let them go out of the house on their own. They attended a public elementary school until Jacob received his letter. After that, Lith couldn’t bother with school anymore but was forced to attend. As she grew up, children started to distance themselves from her, all the neighbourhood thought it was suspicious that her brother had gone to a boarding school when they barely had the money to pay for all their expenses. It got worse when Jacob disappeared.

HOGWARTS:

1st Year: Befriends Rowan, Ben, Chiara and Penny. Makes enemies with Merula. Finds Ice Vault. The Werewolf Support Unit is formed by Chiara, Rowan and Lith.

2nd Year: Ben Cooper disappears. Befriends Bill Weasley. They enter another common room. They open the Ice Vault.

3rd Year: Befriends Tulip, Barnaby and Talbott. Tries the Animagus potion. Attempt to turn Jae into an animagus. The Werewolf Support Unit becomes the Werewolf Support Squad with new members Jae and Talbott. They open Fear Vault.

4th Year: Befriends Charlie Weasley. Patricia Rakepick arrives at Hogwarts. Sleepwalking curse. Open Forest Vault. Goes to the Celestial Ball with Rowan and on a “date” with Talbott.

5th Year: Befriends Jae Kim, Badeea Ali, Liz Tuttle and Diego Caplan. Detention in the kitchens. Beatrice Haywood is trapped in the portrait. Rakepick becomes the new DADA teacher. Lith realizes she has feelings for Talbott. They open the Portrait Vault.

6th Year: Ben goes dark. Lith and Talbott start to date. Rowan dies. Meets Ty Blackwood and finds out they are related. Circle of Khanna.

7th Year: Who tf knows?? :))

ADULTHOOD:

After graduation: Lith goes to become a cursebreaker, taking jobs others would not. She quickly gains a reputation among shady witches and wizards. She lives like this for a year, not having a stable place to stay and traveling from country to country carrying only her backpack. She grows tired of it and decides to drop it all. She goes back to Mexico and moves in with a few muggle roomies. She studies plastic arts at a university and graduates early. She goes back to England to return to her curse breaker activities when Voldemort comes back.

Order of the Phoenix / 2nd Wizarding War: Lith never joins the Order of the Phoenix. She becomes an independent Rescuer, working by herself or for third parties (the Order included) to rescue Undesirables and get them out of the country. She even crafter fake papers to get them out. She does get in contact with members of the Order sometimes, like Carewyn Cromwell, who is one of her main contacts within the Ministry. She fights in the Battle of Hogwarts and saves Talbott’s life after reuniting with him.

Post-War: She decides she has had enough adventures for a while and moves in with Talbott, who quits as an auror and becomes a poet. They get married in a small ceremony which basically was just signing the papers and getting dinner with friends afterwards. After Jacob dies and her nephew Icarus is left orphaned, she takes him in with Talbott and they all move in with Ty at his much bigger home. Lith returns to her curse breaking job to support the whole family, since she doesn’t want Ty to pay for all of their expenses. Charlie moves in too after dating Ty for a while, which was a surprise for all. And they all live together whoo.

Old Age & Death: After retiring definitely, Lith dedicates the rest of her life to art. She even sells some of her works. She paints until her hair starts to turn black and she grows feathers, she paints until her arms don’t obey her anymore. She dies on her bed, with her precious Companion resting on her chest, as they both merge together, accompanied by Talbott, Icarus and her loved ones.

MISC

When they were children, Jacob lost one of his fangs during a sudden transformation and a collision with the door. Lith keeps it as a necklace charm and gifted Jacob one of her own feathers. Because of this, she believes the first black quill is the one he carried as a necklace charm too.

Before they start dating, Lith gives Talbott one of her feathers, which he wears alongside her mother’s. Lith also wears one of his as a necklace, but when she grows older she turns it into an earring. This is one of the reasons why people believe they were already together.

Lith has a habit of drawing on her skin, which is why she sometimes has her legs covered in little doodles. She later starts drawing on her friends.

She hoards art supplies.

She is a gambling addict, so she will get intense during exploding snap games. She knows a lot of card games from her Mother’s side of the family, challenge her at your own risk.

She never learned how to drive.

She learned a bit of mexican magic from her cousins, who attended Aztlán (the mexican wizarding school) created by @tsikuri.

She definitely sings in the shower, but not during her Hogwarts years.

Her taste in music is broad, listening to almost anything except banda.

She has a sweet tooth and cannot stand spicy food, causing the teasing from her whole family, who all, as proud Mexicans, eat chili with everything.

After she graduates, her schedule shifts entirely. She wakes up at 2 pm and goes to sleep at 3 am.

Her love languages are physical touch, but she is too shy and hyper aware to actually approach people and touch them, and gifts.  

If you give her food, you will now be on her “Good human, Angel from Heaven :-:” list. 

Her wand core comes from a bird that can predict death and misfortune, this curiously can be linked to her manifestation of the curse.

Most people think her new wand is ugly, and she did too. But she had to carve it herself to obtain it from an old Mexican wandmaker. The form is also inspired in the flower from the wand wood tree.Lucky: For some reason, Lith has super good luck for the most trivial things, like managing to get a cauldron just before Potions class starts because she forgot hers. She assumes it must be the universe’s compensation for cursing her.

[missandrogyny]

Yeah, I agree with you! Him doing the whale was incredibly stupid and I cringed so bad seeing people excited about it 😭 And yeah, idk it all just sucks now because most times Harry just seems entirely disconnected. I know some people think that artists don’t exactly owe their fans, but I believe that to some extent, they do. He hasn’t even managed to do the bare minimum. Its also changed his fanbase immensely - the crowds are SO different nowadays. Barely any flags, but that’s a whole other thing. Tour shouldn’t even be happening. I could rant about it forever but skjdsjdk whatever.

It’s a shame about your Larry fic! The decision is 100% up to you and your thoughts are 100% valid. I hope you know, though, that if you ever do end up finishing it, you’d definitely have an audience dying to read it! Your fics are truly some of the best <3

Sorry for the lengthy message, but can I ask - what happened to Maybe if I got my Timing Right? I was gonna go reread it, but it says its unrevealed :(

Yeah, I genuinely felt sick when I saw the video. I can’t believe that people were excited about him doing it and were just happy he was on tour. He really should’ve cancelled…I saw someone already got covid from his Las Vegas show.

No i agree! People think artists don’t owe their fans but they do to some extent, seeing as we’re the ones paying his salary? He has a shitload of money because fans continuously buy and support his music. I’m not even asking him to be super connected, just interact with fans every once in a while, send some messages that he appreciates our love and support. He’s walking around like we mean shit all to him, gallivanting all over and not wearing a mask only coming on to ask us to pay for his music or his tour. It’s so insane. As a fan, I feel so damn used. like paying for his shit isn’t fun anymore.

Yeah the crowd is a little…different nowadays. I mean the flags are one thing but it’s just. Idk. I look at him and I do not recognize the 16 year old baker boy from Cheshire anymore. Like I barely even know this guy…and his team being all insensitive (shout out to Harry lambert who seems more concerned about harry’s tour looks than people dying)….he’s really locked himself in an echo chamber with people who has him up and let him think he’s right when he really isn’t. Nfjdjdjd yeah I could rant forever too but. sigh.

Thank you!!! I really do want to finish it, like. It’s literally only lacking an estimated 10k words but I just cant muster up the strength to. I always wrote my fics from a place of love and right now with the way Harry is it’s just hard to find that love for him again…and I also keep getting distracted by my BTS ship 🤣 but thank you for your kind words about my fics!!!! I’m really glad they still resonate with people!!! I hope they can bring some comfort during these uncertain times!

Re: maybe if I got my timing right—uh, so. I had a moment a few weeks back where I just. couldn’t bear the sight of the fic? not for any particular reason, but just because the fic reminds me of when I was ridiculously depressed in 2018 to the point that I was crying on the lobby of my uni building. I dunno if I ever shared this part about it, but finishing the fic at the time had been a triumph (I was so depressed you would not even believe) but seeing it now gives me all mixed feelings because like on one hand WOW I WAS ABLE TO DO THAT on the other hand I keep getting reminded of my pathetic state hahaha. (Not that depression is pathetic in any way, just. I hated being that sad and vulnerable and I hate that I’ve sort of immortalized my sadness in fic). So yeah. I hid it. I was contemplating deleting it but like I said I did work hard on it and it was a triumph at the time….and I thought no one would notice it being gone 😅

[alduinsbanes]

20-25 for Severa !

got long so under the cut it goes. thank you, jake!! <3

20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do?

She would probably be horrified. She would not react well at all it would be such a huge jump between what she is used to and our world. She would probably panic and try and find a way back. Our world and Severa is a bad match.

21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves?

As far as personal issues Severa has had some issues with anxiety/depression since she was younger and it wasn’t helped but all the save the world stuff she was saddled with and a lot of the trauma she’s gone through, but she talks to Irene about it and after she defeats Alduin and a lot of that burden is lifted it gets better. As for pet peeves she cannot stand the sound of people eating this is made worse by the lycanthropy with the improved hearing and what not. It’s something she learns to live with. Her biggest pet peeve though is people interrupting her when she talks. This irritates her to no end. She doesn’t snap but she definitely makes a face. Some people get the message other don’t. The only ones who have any sort of free pass with interrupting her are her children because they’re, y’know, kids but she nips it in the bud real quick albeit gently.

22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school?

She didn’t go to any sort of school house (though they had one in Chorrol) her mother opted to hire a tutor/teacher to teach them personally at home. That being said she was a good student and she enjoyed learning. Of course all schooling can get boring, but even then she still tried her best to pay attention. She did really well and was tutored up until she joined the Fighter’s Guild at 16.

23. What is a random fact about your OC?

She grew up on a small sort of ‘farm’ with a veterinarian (or the tes equivalent of one idk) for a father so she knows a fair bit about animals and loves working with them. She especially likes to work with dogs and horses. She adores cats too but couldn’t have any til she was an adult and living away from home because her father is allergic. That little tidbit didn’t try and stop her from sneaking one into the house as a kid though. Didn’t go over well with her mother.

24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living?

Overall it’s positive. It was a little grim for a while she didn’t think she’d survive the battle with Alduin (she almost didn’t!) so it was bleak for her for a year or two. It gets better though. Her philosophy nowadays is to take things one day at a time and not worry so much about what the future holds since it’s something that can’t always be controlled.

25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them?

I think I made her when I was 14ish(?) and I saw other people with tes ocs on tumblr and was like huh! fun! so I made her. She was very different back then very edgy as one would expect from a 14 year old and she had a different name. She has gone through two previous name changes actually Severa is the third and final name I landed on. She’s always been with Aela tho! She’s always been a fan character though. She has changed a whole lot though and for the better she’s a better more positive character now and a lot funner to work with.

[zeraphias]

guess whos just doing this for fun!!!!!!!!! answers under cut

1. digital.. i can do traditional sketches but beyond that…

2. pretty much since i was a little baby kid? but ive only been posting art on tumblr since like. one or two years ago? i think only one year

3. beyond middle and elementary art classes, one. and i never will again. i hate drawing and art classes!!!!!!!! that shit sucks!!!!

4. tumblr, instagram & twitter. its all in the pinned post babey. although when i was younger i had a deviantart but uh. we dont need to talk abt that

5. oh just people!!!!! people are fun to draw!!

6. arms raising in any sort of way why is the body like that. hands i can handle. legs and feet i can handle. arms raised? no.

7. less than i should.. i try to and i want to but im also so lazy. too much work.. references make everything easier tho so if u draw use them

8. just for fun. altho if u want to pay me for my art just let me know :) . i have considered doing it professionally but i get burnt out and unmotivated easily. and also if i had to draw professionally i would actually hate art forever

9. uh. very little. my current drawing set up that i had is Unavailable so its destroyed any comfortable drawing i can do. its also why i hadnt posted any art until last weekend. im working on figuring out a new set up. but even before that i dont draw everyday, thats tiring !!

10. sort of? kind of? idk people will always be better at u than something and people will always be worse at something than u thats just life. i like bits and pieces of my art and i dislike other parts. i dont like showing my art to strangers in real life !!

11. a lot!! i think. i dont keep track of who i follow that much? i do on twitter but on tumblr…. ive had this blog for like 6 years thats too much to keep track of.

12. absolutely!!! altho u may have to elaborate.. my process sometimes changes based on what im drawing

13. uhhh i like drawing for others but if im drawing shit for myself then it typically stays in the For Myself area. i have over 800 canvases in procreate and ive only posted like. 150 drawings. most of the stuff i draw is for myself.

14. i dont think i have ever collaborated but i wouldnt mind it i guess? if i ever did it was with my friends like years ago

15. 2-4 hours. up to ten or twenty hours if its something longer or bigger. that multipart bioshock piece took around 12-14 hours and it was a couple of days.

16. i draw less but i do more fully finished pieces now. its mostly just circumstance. in class i always doodle and draw but since i havent had proper classes in a year and a half i havent really been drawing as much. but i do have more time which means i can finish pieces more easily

17. uh. i guess? it depends what theyre drawing? like if its people then i think i could give advice but.. idk i only give advice if asked to? and i dont really think about it?

18. side profiles last night lol.. i think ive figured it out??? in general im still trying to find a way to finish pieces that im satisfied with. like with lining and coloring i mean.

19. backgrounds. easily. that shit is annoying!!!!!! nightmare hell realm and all that

20. hair i guess! its pretty simple for me and i like doing it

21. uhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………. sort of? i like trying things and improving so………. i guess.

22. yes. i like to compare my old art to my new art! i actually have sketches from forever ago that ill go back and redo just to see the differences! its funny thinking abt it bc at the time of drawing ill be like. I Am Superior To My Previous Selves and then the next time i look at it im like. what the fuck is wrong with that little guy

23. more original art definitely!! my original art folder has over 400 pieces and any other folders has like. 100 or less

24. depends! mostly inspired nowadays. i mimic artstyles that i like a lot of the time and it helps expand upon what i already have. i am an amalgamation of things i love and enjoy. i dont really get jealous about art anymore

25. with music, podcasts, videos, anything really! i cant draw and talk tho. i cant really read or write while listening to stuff. sometimes im able to put on music and read or write but if i have to concentrate too much then i turn off the music lol

26. i use procreate!!! like. exclusively.

27. uhh around 20-40 layers depending on how complicated im making it? layers all get merged at the end

28. -

29. -

30. other artists!!!! other art!!!!! i will just see the most pretty things and im like. i want that!!!!!!!! that’s pretty and beautiful!!!!!!! i have an entire folder dedicated to just. pretty art. thats also the entirety of my saved photos but. uh. anyways yeah!!!!!! other people’s art makes me want to do art because its inspiring and nice!!!!!!!!!! mwah @ other artists